A Breath of Dead Air (The Mysteries of Bell & Whitehouse Book 8) Read Online Free Page A
Author: Nic Saint
right. That is pretty bad.”
“When she caught sight of me, I could see it in her eyes.”
“She cried, huh?”
“It was love, Father. The look of pure and unadulterated love.”
“Oh, that one.”
“But our love is not to be, Father. She’s an engaged woman now, and Grover is my best friend. If we got involved, I’d be breaking his heart.”
“And he’d be breaking your face,” Terrence commented.
“There’s that,” the billionaire rasped unhappily.
“So what are you gonna do?”
“I have no idea! She wants me, and I want her—it’s that simple. But now that Grover’s son is in trouble he needs my friendship more than ever.”
“Oh, right. The embezzlement thing.”
“Yeah. The embezzlement thing.”
For a moment, silence reigned in the confessional, while Terrence reflected on that age-old adage that money doesn’t make you happy. He counted more than one billionaire amongst his flock, and Job himself couldn’t hold a candle to them when it came to whining and grouching.
“You know what you could do?” the priest finally said.
“No, what?” Chazz replied hopefully.
“You could talk to Grover. If he’s your friend, he’ll understand.” Terrence could hear his penitent deflate like a balloon on the other side of the grille, and he shook his head, feeling sorry for the rich guy. “Or you could have an affair with this woman behind your buddy’s back,” he offered.
Instantly, Chazz perked up. “I like that. I like that a lot. But…”
“But what?”
“Is it kosher?”
“What do you mean?”
“Doesn’t the good book say ‘Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife’?”
Terrence shrugged. “Grover Calypso ain’t your neighbor, is he?”
“Well, no. He’s on Park Avenue, and I’m on Fifth.”
“So?”
Chazz surprised him with a fruity chuckle. “This is why you’re my favorite confessor, Father. You think like me. You always find the loopholes!”
Terrence winced. Finding loopholes in the Bible wasn’t exactly in his job description. But he was a firm believer in the practical approach. And if his advice helped alleviate Chazz’s spiritual distress, that was a clear win in his book. “Just make sure Grover doesn’t find out,” he added as a bonus.
“There is one snag,” Chazz said.
Oh, God. “There is?”
“I really love this woman, Father.”
“So you told me. And?”
“And I simply can’t stand the thought of her and Grover…”
“Doing the horizontal mambo?”
Chazz groaned. “Please, Father. Don’t even go there. It’s just that I’m insanely jealous when it comes to Regina. The thought of her and that old slob…”
“You mean your very good friend Grover.”
“I need to make sure there’s nothing going on between those two.”
“Between Grover and his fiancée , you mean.”
“Yes.”
Terrence sighed. What a mess. Give a man a finger and he’ll take an arm. “Why don’t you tell Regina her future husband has some kind of disease?”
“You mean like the flu?”
Terrence pinched the bridge of his nose. “No, not like the flu. Like syphilis. Or gonorrhea. Something really nasty, if you catch my drift. Something that will put a damper on those pre-wedding coital tendencies.”
A gasp came from the other compartment. “That’s genius! Pure genius!”
“I aim to please,” Terrence grumbled. Then, before Chazz could come up with more objections, he quickly launched into his usual spiel, rounding up the session by telling the billionaire that five Hail Marys and ten Our Fathers would do the trick. He considered giving the billionaire some choice Bible verses about adultery to read but decided this would only confuse the issue by sending a mixed message, and he sent the man away with a final blessing.
He watched the tubby tycoon skip along the church nave with a marked spring in his step and grinned. At least one member of his flock would sleep easy tonight. And wasn’t that the whole purpose of what he was
“When she caught sight of me, I could see it in her eyes.”
“She cried, huh?”
“It was love, Father. The look of pure and unadulterated love.”
“Oh, that one.”
“But our love is not to be, Father. She’s an engaged woman now, and Grover is my best friend. If we got involved, I’d be breaking his heart.”
“And he’d be breaking your face,” Terrence commented.
“There’s that,” the billionaire rasped unhappily.
“So what are you gonna do?”
“I have no idea! She wants me, and I want her—it’s that simple. But now that Grover’s son is in trouble he needs my friendship more than ever.”
“Oh, right. The embezzlement thing.”
“Yeah. The embezzlement thing.”
For a moment, silence reigned in the confessional, while Terrence reflected on that age-old adage that money doesn’t make you happy. He counted more than one billionaire amongst his flock, and Job himself couldn’t hold a candle to them when it came to whining and grouching.
“You know what you could do?” the priest finally said.
“No, what?” Chazz replied hopefully.
“You could talk to Grover. If he’s your friend, he’ll understand.” Terrence could hear his penitent deflate like a balloon on the other side of the grille, and he shook his head, feeling sorry for the rich guy. “Or you could have an affair with this woman behind your buddy’s back,” he offered.
Instantly, Chazz perked up. “I like that. I like that a lot. But…”
“But what?”
“Is it kosher?”
“What do you mean?”
“Doesn’t the good book say ‘Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife’?”
Terrence shrugged. “Grover Calypso ain’t your neighbor, is he?”
“Well, no. He’s on Park Avenue, and I’m on Fifth.”
“So?”
Chazz surprised him with a fruity chuckle. “This is why you’re my favorite confessor, Father. You think like me. You always find the loopholes!”
Terrence winced. Finding loopholes in the Bible wasn’t exactly in his job description. But he was a firm believer in the practical approach. And if his advice helped alleviate Chazz’s spiritual distress, that was a clear win in his book. “Just make sure Grover doesn’t find out,” he added as a bonus.
“There is one snag,” Chazz said.
Oh, God. “There is?”
“I really love this woman, Father.”
“So you told me. And?”
“And I simply can’t stand the thought of her and Grover…”
“Doing the horizontal mambo?”
Chazz groaned. “Please, Father. Don’t even go there. It’s just that I’m insanely jealous when it comes to Regina. The thought of her and that old slob…”
“You mean your very good friend Grover.”
“I need to make sure there’s nothing going on between those two.”
“Between Grover and his fiancée , you mean.”
“Yes.”
Terrence sighed. What a mess. Give a man a finger and he’ll take an arm. “Why don’t you tell Regina her future husband has some kind of disease?”
“You mean like the flu?”
Terrence pinched the bridge of his nose. “No, not like the flu. Like syphilis. Or gonorrhea. Something really nasty, if you catch my drift. Something that will put a damper on those pre-wedding coital tendencies.”
A gasp came from the other compartment. “That’s genius! Pure genius!”
“I aim to please,” Terrence grumbled. Then, before Chazz could come up with more objections, he quickly launched into his usual spiel, rounding up the session by telling the billionaire that five Hail Marys and ten Our Fathers would do the trick. He considered giving the billionaire some choice Bible verses about adultery to read but decided this would only confuse the issue by sending a mixed message, and he sent the man away with a final blessing.
He watched the tubby tycoon skip along the church nave with a marked spring in his step and grinned. At least one member of his flock would sleep easy tonight. And wasn’t that the whole purpose of what he was