Anchorboy Read Online Free Page A
Author: Jay Onrait
really do that.)
The Okanagan is where we and countless other Albertans spent our summer holidays when we were kids. Aside from the sunny weather, beautiful beaches, and abundant locally grown fruit, we also enjoyed the fact that we could go see movies every night. I realize that in this day and age, that makes it sound as if I grew up in a Quaker town, but Athabasca was just a small town and didn’t have a movie theatre. These days we’d all just fire up movies on our iPads and ignore each other the entire vacation, but back then going to see films at the tiny, ancient four-screen cinema in downtownPenticton, B.C., was somehow a highlight of our trip. We would show up in town and find the latest Penticton newspaper to check the movie listings over the two weeks of our vacation. Then I would carefully plan our viewing schedule.
Batman
would be first, followed by
Terminator 2: Judgment Day
, and then perhaps we would have to slum it with
Jaws: The Revenge
. It was a highly strategic planning session, and it sums up how desperate we were for entertainment at the time.
I always enjoy my time in Kelowna because I feel instantly transported to my youth, much the same way I’m sure people who grew up spending their summers in cottages and cabins and camps across the country love returning there as adults, even if it means they have to help put the dock in the lake. There’s just something very special about returning to a place with so many childhood memories, a place you so looked forward to visiting in the waning weeks of the school year. Although it is true that I was forced to attend Okanagan Hockey School for one of those two weeks.
As much as I loved playing hockey, I absolutely dreaded hockey school. Having to practise twice a day wasn’t so bad. I even got to meet Murray Bannerman! It was the dryland training that I really couldn’t stand. Doing “wall-sits” and running the track in thirty-degree heat should have probably been tagged as a mild form of child cruelty. (I can already hear my parents laughing as they read this.) As a side note, I’d like to start a movement to have wall-sits outlawed in this country, because they truly are the closest thing to torture that I have experienced. The simple method: Find a wall. Put your back directly against that wall. Now bend your knees until you are in a “sitting” position against the wall, making sure you don’t use your hands to prop yourself up in any way. “Sit” like this for as long as you possibly can without moving or falling. Personally, I’d rather be water-boarded.
If you’re the kind of parent thinking about putting your son or daughter in hockey school, first sit them down and ask them this question: Does the idea of two hockey practices without shinny, followed or preceded by two one-hour sessions of dryland training, sound like how you’d like to spend your summer vacation days in thirty-degree heat? Because I’m just not convinced that these kids have any idea what they’re getting into. Sorry, hockey schools across the country, the secret is out: You’re running prison camps for kids, and people are paying you handsomely for it. Dictators around the world should probably fly to Canada in July and take notes.
When I land at the Kelowna International Airport these days (“Who had the balls to call it
that
?” asked comedian Jeremy Hotz upon visiting the city), I am greeted warmly by my niece and nephews, and the fun begins. My sister is two years younger than me, and like many people of her generation she loves the Food Network and food shows and has taken a liking to cooking at home. My sister really takes the reins in the kitchen around the holidays now. And what a spread she had planned for us on Christmas Eve of 2010.
When we were younger, my family would make frequent trips to Edmonton for a little family getaway. We didn’t call it Edmonton, though. We called it “the City.” It was the closest big city to my small town, and
The Okanagan is where we and countless other Albertans spent our summer holidays when we were kids. Aside from the sunny weather, beautiful beaches, and abundant locally grown fruit, we also enjoyed the fact that we could go see movies every night. I realize that in this day and age, that makes it sound as if I grew up in a Quaker town, but Athabasca was just a small town and didn’t have a movie theatre. These days we’d all just fire up movies on our iPads and ignore each other the entire vacation, but back then going to see films at the tiny, ancient four-screen cinema in downtownPenticton, B.C., was somehow a highlight of our trip. We would show up in town and find the latest Penticton newspaper to check the movie listings over the two weeks of our vacation. Then I would carefully plan our viewing schedule.
Batman
would be first, followed by
Terminator 2: Judgment Day
, and then perhaps we would have to slum it with
Jaws: The Revenge
. It was a highly strategic planning session, and it sums up how desperate we were for entertainment at the time.
I always enjoy my time in Kelowna because I feel instantly transported to my youth, much the same way I’m sure people who grew up spending their summers in cottages and cabins and camps across the country love returning there as adults, even if it means they have to help put the dock in the lake. There’s just something very special about returning to a place with so many childhood memories, a place you so looked forward to visiting in the waning weeks of the school year. Although it is true that I was forced to attend Okanagan Hockey School for one of those two weeks.
As much as I loved playing hockey, I absolutely dreaded hockey school. Having to practise twice a day wasn’t so bad. I even got to meet Murray Bannerman! It was the dryland training that I really couldn’t stand. Doing “wall-sits” and running the track in thirty-degree heat should have probably been tagged as a mild form of child cruelty. (I can already hear my parents laughing as they read this.) As a side note, I’d like to start a movement to have wall-sits outlawed in this country, because they truly are the closest thing to torture that I have experienced. The simple method: Find a wall. Put your back directly against that wall. Now bend your knees until you are in a “sitting” position against the wall, making sure you don’t use your hands to prop yourself up in any way. “Sit” like this for as long as you possibly can without moving or falling. Personally, I’d rather be water-boarded.
If you’re the kind of parent thinking about putting your son or daughter in hockey school, first sit them down and ask them this question: Does the idea of two hockey practices without shinny, followed or preceded by two one-hour sessions of dryland training, sound like how you’d like to spend your summer vacation days in thirty-degree heat? Because I’m just not convinced that these kids have any idea what they’re getting into. Sorry, hockey schools across the country, the secret is out: You’re running prison camps for kids, and people are paying you handsomely for it. Dictators around the world should probably fly to Canada in July and take notes.
When I land at the Kelowna International Airport these days (“Who had the balls to call it
that
?” asked comedian Jeremy Hotz upon visiting the city), I am greeted warmly by my niece and nephews, and the fun begins. My sister is two years younger than me, and like many people of her generation she loves the Food Network and food shows and has taken a liking to cooking at home. My sister really takes the reins in the kitchen around the holidays now. And what a spread she had planned for us on Christmas Eve of 2010.
When we were younger, my family would make frequent trips to Edmonton for a little family getaway. We didn’t call it Edmonton, though. We called it “the City.” It was the closest big city to my small town, and
Readers choose
Lily Harper Hart
Cameo Renae
Susan Stoker
J.M. Christopher
Carla Swafford
Diane Mott Davidson
Delilah Marvelle
Saad Hossain
Andrew Rosenheim
Lexxie Couper