Beauty Read Online Free Page B

lighting. Razor in hand, I let my eyes wander around the tiny space until it fell on the pristine white tub. It wasn’t very big, but it would d o. Anything to get rid of this feeling. Death would be welcomed.
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    Everything burned…my lips, my face, my arms, my body… I was on fire! Reality jolted me awa ke as I bolted from my bed in a frenzy. Something gripped tight around my wrists and I swung wildly, memories of Brice on top of me fresh and vivid. Standing on top of my bed I almost laughed as my gaze swept my bedroom. How long had it been since I stood on my bed?
    Wait…I was in my bedroom… How did I get here? The last thing I remember was… Oh Shit the tub…my wrist, the blood…so much of it.
    Bits and pieces of the night before floated together, my mind reeling as my eyes landed on the massive wad of gauze wrapped around my hand and arm.
    Someone had found me, not called the police, but instead, wrapped my arm and put me in bed?! What?! It didn’t make sense!
    “Evelyn?! You in there?! We’re leaving now! You still sleeping?!”
    June’s voice reached me from the living room, her knocks deepening the migraine that suddenly appeared just behind my eyes. My mouth opened to call to her as I jumped from the bed onto the floor but something stopped me. Two things should have happened that didn’t, and panic settled. There hadn’t been a loud thump f rom the floor registering my weight , and I was suddenly off balance, my legs wobbling as if I’d landed on a pair of stilts instead of my cankles.
    The fuzziness of sleep was fading fast, my brain finally processing more than just the strangeness of waking up in my room. My eyes were on the floor, and that’s where I started, shock holding me in place as my gaze traveled from a tiny pair of feet up slender long legs. My hands moved without any command from me, my fingers sp laying widely over a super flat toned tummy, down over the slender curve of hips and back up again to cover firm perky mounds.
    Holy shit! Holy Shit! Holy SHIT!
    This was some voodoo type stuff. I ran my name, my age, my parents’ names, and my home town through my head, confirming that it was me…at least on the inside.
    But if this was me…then whose body did I have…? What happene d to heaven and hell, becoming C asper the friendly ghost, or even fading into nothingness?!
    Those things I’d prepared for. Watching my blood drip into the full tub of water last night I’d gone over each scenario, banking on the fact that I wasn’t good enough for heaven, my bad deeds hadn’t been bad enough to put me in hell…surely?! I didn’t really believe in ghost s , but I’d eventually settled on hoping for that or nothingness. How good it would have felt to not really exist anymore. Death had been wet and warm. I’d felt it sucking at me. I’d felt the blackness take hold and ooze it s way all the way up from the insides of my toes to the very nerve endings of my brain. It had opened for me, and I’d gone with it…glad l y! How then was I standing here…me…but not me….?
    Reincarnation… ?
    One step to the left, and my head lifted higher, the full length mirror attached to m y closet directly across from me now. This was my bedroom. In the reflection I could see the bottom cor ner of my blood stained comforter , my wall of hopes and dreams to the left of that –pictures of Italy, France & Europe plastered in a giant circle - , the empty be d my old roommate had left behind. Closer…I allowed my eyes to focus. Dark brown hair…highlighted just as my mothered suggested…check. Chocolate brown eyes…dull but still mine since the day I was born…check. Even straight white teeth, the top fourth one from the left –chipped from the day I’d falle n off the merry-go-round because I was pushed by Sherri Dodd- …check.
    Oh Shit!
    That’s where the similarities ended. My face was mine, but not mine… In it I saw the face of the four or five year old girl that sat proudly