Blue Bamboo: Tales by Dazai Osamu Read Online Free Page A

expression a grave and dignified aspect, or makes inept and rather uncouth attempts at whistling.
    “Then, suddenly, he collides head-on with a young student. This, however, is only to be expected. In a crowd this size, it’s natural that one will bump into someone else occasionally. Nothing comes of the encounter; the student merely walks on. But a short while later the professor collides with a beautiful young lady. Nothing comes of this either, though: she merely continues along the street. It is not yet time for happiness to arrive. The new development is to come from behind him. Someone taps the professor lightly on the back. This time it’s no accident.”
    The elder daughter stopped there. She’d been speaking all this time with downcast eyes. Now she snatched off her glasses and began vigorously polishing the lenses with her handkerchief—something she always did when self-conscious.
    The second son continued.
    “I’m afraid I’m not very good at doing descriptive passages. Or, rather, it’s not that I’m not good at it, it’s just that it seems like too much trouble today. So I’ll keep this brief and to the point.” Such cheek.
    “The professor turns to see a plump woman of about forty. She’s holding a small dog with a remarkably ugly face. The two of them have the following conversation.
    “‘Happy?’ she says.
    “‘Sure, I’m happy. Since you’ve been gone, everything’s fine. Everything’s, well, just as I wish.’
    “‘H’mph. I suppose you’ve got yourself some young thing?’
    “‘Something wrong with that?’
    “‘Yes, there is something wrong with that. Didn’t you promise me that if I only gave up dogs I could return to you any time I pleased?’
    “‘That’s not likely to happen, though, is it? God, this one’s a real horror. Just horrible. It looks like a creature that eats larvae or something. What a monstrosity. Ugh. It’s nauseating.’
    “‘You don’t have to go all pale in the face for my benefit. Isn’t that right, Pro? Is the bad man making fun of you? Bark at him. Go on. Woof! Woof!’
    “‘Stop that. You’re as contrary as ever, aren’t you. You know, just talking to you sends chills down my spine. “Pro”? What the hell is that? Can’t you come up with a name with a bit more class? Idiot.’
    “‘What’s wrong with “Pro”? It’s short for “Professor.” I named him in honor of you. Isn’t he sweet?’
    “‘I can’t stand this.’
    “‘My! You still perspire as much as ever, don’t you? Goodness! Don’t wipe it off with your sleeve. How do you think that looks? Don’t you have a handkerchief? Your new wife must be an awfully careless person. I never once forgot to see that you had three handkerchiefs and a fan whenever you went out in summer.’
    “‘I won’t have you finding fault with my hallowed home. It’s most unpleasant.’
    “‘Well, excuse me. Here. Take this handkerchief.’
    “‘Thanks. I’ll just borrow it for the time being.’
    “‘You’ve become a complete stranger, haven’t you?’
    “‘When two people separate, they become strangers. That’s just the way it... Wait... This handkerchief Sure enough, it has the same old... No. No, it smells of dogs.’
    “‘What a thing to say. The fragrance brings back memories, doesn’t it?’
    “‘Don’t be stupid. You know what your problem is? Ill breeding.’
    “‘Me? What about yourself? Do you insist on your new wife babying you too? You mustn’t, you know, at your age. How do you think it looks? She’ll grow to hate you. Having her put your socks on you while you’re still in bed, and—’
    “‘I told you I won’t have you finding fault with my hallowed home. Listen, I’m happy now. Everything’s going splendidly.’
    “‘And do you still have soup in the morning? With one raw egg? Or two?’
    “‘Two. Sometimes three. I have more of everything now than I did with you. I’ll tell you, when I look back, I get the feeling there can’t be