Chasing Peace Read Online Free Page A

until the world conspired against us
leaving behind flagging confidence, intense guilt, self hatred and, yes, anger.
    Logan had played football in high school. I’d been smitten
when he turned his attention my way. I’m pretty, but I’ve never been popular. I
never tried out for cheerleading or sports or drama. I’m no socialite either. I
was the loner, the girl who never quite fit in. I enjoyed my high school
classes, while continually dreading the social interactions, until Logan turned
his attention my way.
    We’d dated for more than a year, until I found him in bed
with someone else. I’m sure there’d been others. I just didn’t want to admit
it.
    As his hand shot out to grab my forearm, I heard a growl to
my right coming from Lyla.
    “I wouldn’t do that.”
    The spell broken, I could move again. I turned toward the
sound and saw Lyla, hands planted on the bar, strength sizzling through every
fiber of her being. She looked ready to launch herself over the bar, smashing
her foot to his head on her way. I’d seen her spring from one side to the
other, feet never touching until she reached the other side.
    “It’s okay Lyla. He has a right to be angry.”
    “Fine, but he keeps his hands off you.” Her words were terse
and tight. She knew Logan and would defend me with the furor of the righteous.
She didn’t understand my guilt.
    “Logan has never hurt me, at least not physically,” I said,
watching Logan, not Lyla.
    “I don’t know what to do,” he mumbled, defeat weighing
heavy.
    With a tilt of my head, I directed him to the cocktail
service counter at the end of the bar. Lyla stands guard, arms crossed, chin
jutting militantly.
    “Why aren’t you in school?” I ask. Logan has a football
scholarship to an out-of-state college.
    “I should be, but I can’t handle it right now. I can’t concentrate
on school or football. I can’t talk to people. I walk around angry, ready to
punch something or someone. You’ve ruined my life Sterling.”
    “I’m sorry Logan,” I say, cringing at the ugly heat
radiating from him. I understand his anger. I told him about Emma and he’s
never forgiven me. He’d rather have never known. I know how he feels. It
distracted me too, punished me, tortured me everyday. He’s suffering just like
me and it’ll never stop, never go away.
    “You owe me. I want my life back,” he snapped.
    “I want my life back too. Everyday I wish the torture away,
only to pull it back again because when the pain is gone, Emma is gone. It’s
the best reminder I have. It’s the best reminder we have Logan.”
    “Bullshit! This is not my fault, yet I’m the one suffering.”
He gets louder fast. “I heard you’re going to Central. How is that fair? It’s
your fault and now you’re off to school free and clear while I can barely get
out of bed in the morning. I should be able to live my life, move on, forget
about you, forget about Emma.”
    It felt like a punch to my gut. I hunched over, my arms
wrapping around my middle, the breath whooshing from my lungs, the agony of
suffocation. My breath comes back slowly as Logan watches me, outraged and
resentful. His face glowing red, fierce, a snarl to his beautiful lips, but I
had to say it.
    “Please don’t forget her,” I plead, placing my hand over his
and then flinching when he tears his hands away.
    “It’s time for you to go.” Lyla’s voice broke through the
tension with reason. Logan glared. I heard his tormented breathing over the
silence. The piano had gone quiet. “Go on,” she continued calmly. “This is not
the time or place.”
    He stepped back looking like he didn’t really know how he
came to be here. He tried to leave, turning in the wrong direction.
    “That way,” Lyla pointed.
    I know that feeling, like an animal running from misery,
looking to hide but becoming lost, trapped with no escape. I’d been there too.
And then he no longer stood before me, gone when I blinked.
    “Are you okay baby?”