Collection of Stories for Demented Children Read Online Free Page B

cook shrieked in terror.
    “Zachary! No! Stop biting his head!” Tobias
began pulling on Zachary’s arm, the good one. Rational thought came
back and Zachary let go of the cook right away, ashamed of what he
had done. A soulless zombie wouldn’t have stopped, but Zachary was
better than that.
    “He bit my head!” the cook exclaimed in
outrage, holding the wound in both hands. “Eww! The zombie bit my
head! Eww!” Tobias pulled Zachary away from the cook who sat down
on the back step of the door, rocking back and forth. “I can’t
believe a zombie bit my head!”
    A few minutes later, they were near the edge
of the forest where Tobias’s home was. They walked up to the front
gate of the white picket fence. It was a nice cottage with
whitewashed stone walls, a thatch roof and flowers planted around
the outside. It even looked pretty in the darkness.
    “This is my home. Thank you, Zachary.”
Tobias gave him a big hug, which made Zachary feel warm inside.
“You better go home before those villagers find you. They seemed
really mean.”
    “Shalright,” Zachary reassured him.
“Goodbye.”
    “Goodbye, Zachary,” Tobias replied. With
that, Zachary went around the picket fence and into the forest. He
stopped at the edge to wave one last time at Tobias who waved back.
He said, “Brainsss,” one last time before disappearing into the
trees to go find newts for Gert the Wicked Witch.
     
    ***
     
    Tobias waved at Zachary and heard him say,
“Brainsss.” Then he went inside the house where his mother yelled
at him tearfully for going into the forest and being out past dark.
His father came home a short while later. As they washed the zombie
goo off Tobias, he told them of his adventures
    After dinner, they tucked him into bed and
Tobias asked, “Can I play with Zachary again tomorrow?”
    “No Tobias,” his father said sternly.
“Zombies eat brains and even though Zachary didn’t eat yours today,
it’s best not to take chances.”
    “Aww, Dad,” Tobias protested.
    They kissed him goodnight and blew out the
candle. Tobias fell asleep dreaming of zombie parties and fuzzy emo
bunnies.
     
    ***
     
    Prince Dashing rode to the edge of the sea
cliff on his majestic white stallion and looked at the moon casting
its reflection on the calm waters. He would have arrived a day
earlier, but had been held up by a newt infestation in the forest.
A deep sigh escaped his lips as he gazed at the beautiful scene.
The fresh smell of saltwater filled his nose and the sound of the
gentle ocean surf relaxed him.
    He had been searching the lands for a
beautiful girl to make his princess. If only he could find a simple
innkeeper’s daughter and spoil her lavishly. He would take her to
his castle where she could listen to the birds sing and have
bunnies sweep the floor of her room, not the terribly sad emo
bunnies, but the happy white fluffy bunnies. Prince Dashing would
buy her ponies and let her put pink bows all over the castle.
    With another sigh, he turned and rode down
to the village in the hopes of finding a simple girl to spend the
rest of his life with.
     
    The End
     
    ###
     
     
Drippy the Peg Legged
Rainbow
     
     
    This story is dedicated to all the straight
people who still love rainbows.
     
     
    ***
     
     
    Rainbows have existed throughout the
universe since shortly after its inception. Born from light and
moisture, they have expanded along with galaxies and other cosmic
goo. They only die from the destruction of worlds, absence of
moisture, or the long loss of light. Many are ancient, being nearly
as old as the universe itself. Others are young, only born moments
ago. All are beautiful, although many beings in the universe think
them to be evil bearers of bad tidings and illness.
    This is the story of one rainbow, neither
ancient nor young . . .
     
    ***
     
    “Hey, you, are you using this tree?” Drippy
asked two cute little bunnies nuzzling by a stately tree. One was
black with purple streaks while the other