Confessions of a Military Wife Read Online Free Page B

“relations” with your husband right before he leaves. He will need something to look forward to, so take care of that yourself as well.
    3. Always remember, when he comes back from deployment you will be in stiff competition with Asian hookers. So I got prepared. I bought a kimono and a bag of Ping-Pong balls.
    Grandma was also eager to go with me when I picked up my military ID card. Mostly, I think it was because she wanted to get out of the house. She had stopped driving after the “Dollar General Shopping Bonanza Incident.”
    One day she called my Aunt Martha to report, “I went through the Dollar General today.”
    “That’s great mom, what did you buy?” Aunt Martha asked.
    “No, dear, I WENT THROUGH the Dollar General today,” Grandma explained.
    She went on to explain that the Herman Munster-style shoe she wore (scoliosis had left one leg shorter) had created a “lead foot.” Instead of hitting the brakes, the “lead foot” had hit the gas pedal and she had gone “through the Dollar General.” I believe she put the car in park in aisle five.
    On the drive to Quantico, Grandma warned me about keeping my ID card with me at all times. She went on to tell me about the time she had gone to the commissary (grocery store on a military base) to buy a week’s worth of groceries for seven children. When she got to the checkout stand, she realized she didn’t have the military ID.
    The militant clerk refused to ring her up, so she had to leave without the groceries.
    She also gave me a complete rundown on military health care. Grandma had had seven children—six girls and one boy.
    She told me that when my Uncle George was born after a slew of girls, my granddad suggested naming him “Caboose.” He is actually not the baby; he is the fourth of seven!
    Since Grandma was pregnant throughout her years as a military wife, she knew the health care system well. She explained that calling military medicine TRICARE is a joke. Obviously they don’t try and they really don’t care!
    One time when they were stationed in England (and she wasn’t pregnant) she developed a terrible ear infection. She decided she needed to go to the hospital, so she asked a neighbor to watch her five children.
    When she checked in, she told the receptionist that she needed to see the doctor.
    “I am sorry, ma’am, but the doctor only sees pregnant women on Wednesdays.”
    Grandma calmly replied, “If that’s the case, I will call my husband and take care of that at lunch, but I would prefer to skip it and just get my ear checked out.”
    The doctor happened to overhear her reply and agreed to see her.
    I know my marriage to Jon brought back so many memories for her. My grandfather had passed away less than eight months before our wedding. The similarities between my grandfather and Jon were more than temperament and military career. My grandfather was a man who also walked softly, but carried a big stick.
    We treasured our talks with Grandma, who became my rock when Jon was deployed. During World War II, she had gone for two years without seeing my grandfather, surviving only on limited letters. I knew she understood what I was going through and I was thankful to be able to talk to her.
    MADE FOR EACH OTHER
    Jon and I are complete opposites, physically and emotionally.
    He’s six feet tall, has dark hair, a great tan, and dark hazel eyes. He’s quiet, calm, patient, content, intelligent, and polite, but absent-minded when it comes to anything that is not Marine-related. He’s a great researcher with the ability to retain vast amounts of information. I also admire that he never says a bad thing about anyone or anything.
    In contrast, I’m short—at just five feet—have blonde hair and hazel eyes. I am loud, hyper, energetic, extremely organized, controlling, bossy, opinionated, and tend to whine. I often pop off—saying outrageous things no matter where I am or who I am around.
    Jon is more comfortable communicating one on