Death of a PTA Goddess Read Online Free Page A

Rick?”
    “Rick’s this jerk who hits on everybody because he thinks of all girls as conquests. He’s been asking both Rachie and me out. Adam warned her about him because she was tempted to say yes. Anyways, I’m going over to Rachie’s now. Okay? Then we’re coming back here so she can help me figure out what to wear.”
    “Fine,” I said, too stunned to think of another response.
    “How about overalls and that . . . that one-piece, long-sleeved bodysuit you wear for dance class?” Jim suggested, but she was already closing the door behind her. He sighed and looked back at me. “Does she own any really ugly outfits with lots of buttons?”
    The day passed of its own volition and far too quickly. I was in no hurry either for my meeting or to see Karen off on her first date. I’d told her I wasn’t going to fuss, but asked her to commit to memory my one piece of general advice about dating: If you ever feel you have to do something just because otherwise he might not like you, he
doesn’t
, so dump him and wait until someone else comes along who
does
. Then I’d made several phone calls on the pretext of discovering the source of the PTA turmoil, and then asked “by the way . . .” if they’d ever met Susan’s high-schooler son. I could get no information on either issue, and Susan herself never returned my call.
    The doorbell rang at a quarter to seven. Jim and I both answered. There stood a painfully—to me, at any rate— handsome young man with curly blond hair and brown eyes, wearing baggy khakis and a leather bomber jacket. He was, indeed, Too Cute.
Much
too cute.
    “Hi. I’m Adam Embrick, here for Karen.”
    Jim said nothing.
    “Come in. Karen will be right down.”
    He stepped inside. Karen came down the stairs. Jim had taken a step back to allow Adam to enter, but was standing directly between him and Karen, and now stood glaring at the short hemline of her purple-and-black dress.
    Adam said, “Nice to meet you, sir,” and held out his hand.
    “Nice to meet you,” Jim said with no smile as he shook his hand. “Her curfew is midnight. Where exactly are you taking her?”
    I glanced back at Karen, who rolled her eyes and got her coat out of the closet.
    “I have dinner reservations at the Captain’s Table at seven, then we’ll go to a movie.” Jim continued to glare at him, and he added, “Something rated PG. By Disney.”
    “Have a nice time,” I said as Karen squeezed past her father.
    “Thanks, Mom.”
    “Be home by midnight,” Jim said again. They disappeared around the corner to the garage, but he continued to watch out the door.
    “Well, I’ve got to go. Although Stephanie’s having threatened to kill Patty this morning pales in comparison to knowing that Karen’s off on her first date.”
    Jim shut the door and slumped into the nearest chair. “I’m staying right here till she’s back.”
    “He seems like a nice kid. Don’t worry so much.”
    He looked up at me. “Easy for you to say.
You
were never a teenage boy.”
    Not wanting to explore that notion any further, I grabbed my coat and left for Patty’s.
    Patty’s house was a ranch-style, three-bedroom house, the smallest home in her neighborhood. Tacked to her front door was a hand-painted paper marionette wearing a leprechaun outfit. That reminded me. It was time to throw out the jack-o’-lantern on our back porch. I studied the little paper dude as I rang the doorbell. In typical Perfect-Patty style, the leprechaun’s face had been hand-painted, and the paper had been molded so that he was somewhat three-dimensional. His clothes, from argyles to bow tie, were made from fabric. The red tresses poking out from below his little green hat appeared to be real. Patty’s daughter, Kelly, had red hair. Maybe she’d had a haircut recently.
    To my surprise the door was swept open not by Patty, but by Chad Martinez, a divorced father who had taken to volunteering for all sorts of PTA fund-raising campaigns and