Fashionably Dead Down Under Read Online Free Page B

she was
the head honcho’s daughter. No one was stupid enough to fuck with
that . . . or were they?
    “Sooo, Your Highness,” the bandaged skank
began, “let’s go over your list of problems...or should I say
virtues. Shall we?” She laughed wickedly. “You’re a straight A
student, you remember birthdays, you clean your room, people
describe you as kind, you pioneered the first Meals on Wheels in
Hell, you donated a million dollars to feed humans on Earth,
and you’re a virgin,” she sneered. “What do you have to say for
yourself?”
    How on Satan’s Red Earth did she know Dixie
was a virgin? Was Dixie a virgin? Wait. That was none of that
bitch’s business . . . and why did I even care? I barely knew my
cousin, but I was pissed. I glanced around the little bungalow for
something to throw at that woman’s already injured head and I felt
a dark power and magic run through me. Different from my Vampyre
magic. Stop. This was not good. Did Satan send me here so I’d get
pissed and turn fully into a Demon? If I pulled on the dark magic
and destroyed the therapist would I be permanently stuck in Hell? I
took a deep breath and said nothing. Thankfully I didn’t have to.
Myrtle stepped in.
    “I don’t know about you guys,” Myrtle
grunted, “but I’m feeling the need to bust on Dixie’s coffee table
and beat the living hell out of our therapist again.”
    Carl, Janet and Dixie grinned from ear to ear
and I couldn’t suppress the giggle that escaped my lips. Miss
Bitchy Pants stood up and backed her way towards the front
door.
    “All of you, including the Vampyre have to report to the Dark Palace,” she haughtily informed us.
    “Now?” Janet asked hopefully. I assumed she
hoped to avoid the enforced hair removal she was about to
endure.
    “No!” Meanie snapped. “This evening. After
you get de-haired, you repulsive...”
    “Enough,” Carl shouted advancing on the
horrid woman. She turned and ran from the house. Like a coward . .
. foul, disgusting, bandage covered cowardice hag.
    We stood quietly and looked at one
another—the Princess, the Strong Man, the soon to be hairless
Bearded Lady, Myrtle . . . and me.
    Myrtle broke the silence. “So you’re a
Vampyre?”
    “Apparently,” I answered, hoping she didn’t
attack. I kind of liked her and really didn’t want to kill her.
    “Cool,” she muttered and the rest of the
freak show nodded their approval.
    “She’s part Demon too,” Dixie added, giving
me a shy smile.
    “Very small part,” I explained. “And I need
to get home. Soon.”
    “I’m sure Daddy will send you home. I think
he just wants to know you better.”
    “That’s just awesome,” I replied in a voice
laced with sarcasm.
    “He’s really not that bad when you get to
know him,” Dixie said.
    “He’s worse,” Myrtle mouthed to me out of
Dixie’s line of vision.
    Fucking great. This was going to be a good
time.

Chapter 4
    “Your pockets are talking,” Dixie said as she
tossed me a pile of dresses to try on. The therapy crew had left
and we had several hours before we had to be back at the estate.
From the looks of the clothes my cousin dropped on me, it was a
formal affair.
    “Yep, I know.” I examined the goldmine Dixie
had deposited in my lap and hoped that ignoring my Baby Demons in
my pocket would make my cousin follow suit.
    No such luck.
    “Are they hungry?”
    “Is who hungry?” I asked as I stuck my hands
in my pockets and attempted to quiet my tiny monsters.
    “The little Demons in your pocket. Are they
hungry?”
    “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I
replied as I pinched Abe, Ross, Rachel and Beyonce. They didn’t
help matters by giggling and poking their little heads out. “Fuck,”
I muttered and shook my head in disgust.
    “They’re adorable.” Dixie giggled and reached
out to them.
    “No,” I shouted and slapped her hand away. I
quickly grabbed my little Demons before they ate my cousin. “Dixie,
stay back. They eat Demons