Finding My Thunder Read Online Free Page B

him and we felt Sooner all over and she was waiting
for us to quit groping and start scratching, but I had scissors in my hand, and
pretty soon not even the thought of pups I didn’t want or need could block out
the closeness of Danny and I had to straighten up and step away and him too and
his eyes went right there and I guess my hair wasn’t as much of a covering as I
thought.
    I
wanted to die. I wasn’t trying to do something, so I folded my arms over the
points, I did that at least. He just kept staring at me. “What are you doing?”
I said, not about the staring…but about everything.
    “I
need a haircut.”
    “Are
you high or something?”
    He
burped quietly. “No. Just had a few beers.”
    Then
I noticed he didn’t have a vehicle. “Did you walk here?”
    He
burped again. “Yeah. Not like it’s far. Well, I was in a car…but I got out.”
    “Where’s
Sukey?” He was Danny’s ride.
    “You
don’t know?” he said.
    I
shook my head.
    “The
boy’s farm,” he said.
    The
boy’s farm was over a hundred miles away. It was like a reform school, only on
a farm, of course. I didn’t ask what Sukey did to get there. I could figure it
out. But this was one reason why Danny might be coming around.
    “How
long?” I said.
    “January.”
    He
looked at me and motioned to the stairs, then he shuffled there and sat in the
middle, and I sat behind, careful to keep my legs together and off to the side.
Even this near I was almost frozen. My heart was pounding so loud, and he sat
there waiting for me to touch him. “We could do this in your room where there’s
some light,” he said, and I stared at the back of his thick glossy hair, and I
was about to faint from this whole thing.
    “I
can see,” I said, but I was panting so I had to catch myself. Did he really
think I could casually sneak him upstairs? Didn’t he know I would die?
    “You’ve
got a lot of hair,” I said, and my voice trembled a little and I was so glad he
was turned away.
    “Might
as well get used to getting it cut. I go in the army they’ll shave me bald.” He
stretched his legs out then, groaning like an old man.
    “You
have to hold still,” I said.
    “Well
do something,” he said.
    So
I put my hand up there and took hold of some and held it straight up and it
felt so soft and thick and I let it go but I didn’t mean to so I had to get
another hold and my heart was flopping like a seal on a griddle. I mean I could
not breathe.
    “Just
do it, Grunier,” he said.
    So
I made my first cut, but I barely took it off.
    “I
go in the army they’ll buzz it off,” he said.
    “What
are you thinking?” I said. “You can’t go to Vietnam. You have to go to college.
You had a scholarship is what I heard.”
    “I’ve
had enough of school,” he said.
    “You
can’t work for Lonnie. They’ll pick you off quick. Surely you don’t believe in
this war.” Now I had no trouble facing him for I was desperate to say this. I
moved around him enough that when he turned we were up close.
    He
was more beautiful than anyone had a right to be. No wonder I lived in a
perpetual state of heartache for these long years. All at once my concern for
him doubled. “You are not going to Vietnam,” I said.
    Well
he looked at me.
    “What
do you care?” he said.
    I
was shaking my head and taking refuge behind him once again. “Johnson plans a
big push in the next two years. They’re going to draft everyone they can get
their hands on. We don’t belong in that war. They don’t want us over there. We
aren’t going to be able to do any good. The North Vietnamese can disappear over
the border anytime they want. Our soldiers are picked off or blown up and they
can’t see what’s coming. They are shooting villagers…children, too. Someone
might cut your hair in the morning and slit your throat before supper. It’s horrible
over there. And even if you come back you’ll be ruined…like Lonnie was…well is.
You’ll see.”
    My
hand was on his