Freudian Slip Read Online Free Page B

into—despite it all, Kate laughed to herself.
    I’m not kidding. Lesbians have more fun.

CHAPTER FOUR
    â€œS HE’S CUTE WHEN SHE smiles,” Julian said to Gus. He leaned closer, as if inspecting a specimen under glass. “She has dimples.”
    â€œHmm?” Gus was looking at a file that had materialized out of nowhere. They were still standing in her messy apartment, though they had moved to the small galley kitchen—typical by Manhattan standards with an Easy-Bake-size oven and a refrigerator shorter than Julian’s shoulder.
    â€œI said she’s cute. What are you looking at?”
    â€œThis?” Gus waved the file folder, and it disappeared. “Nothing. Case files.”
    â€œShouldn’t I look them over or something, if I’m going to be some sort of celestial social worker?”
    â€œAfraid not. The Boss believes in intuition. In the power of connection.”
    â€œWhat kind of New Age bullshit is that?”
    â€œShe’s afraid of self-fulfilling prophesies. They’re the worst prophecies of all, you know.”
    â€œSlow down, Gus. You may be used to this Neither Here Nor There lingo, but it’s all new to me. I’m still getting used to being…away from my body.”
    â€œWell, the Boss has been frequently misquoted by prophets. A lot of them, I have to tell you, were cuckoo.” Gus twirled a finger round and round by his temple.
    â€œAnd of all the crazy prophets,” Gus continued, “self-fulfilling ones drive Her the craziest. If you read Kate’s case…Let’s suppose it said she was depressed.”
    â€œI’d get her to pop a Prozac.”
    â€œPrecisely. Then you would assume it to be so—that she was depressed. And let’s say it said she was destined to live the rest of her life alone and lonely. Well, you’d hardly work to get her a new trustworthy boyfriend, would you now? No, you’d see the case file, assume it was her fate, and it would be a self-fulfilling prophecy for poor Kate. You’d tell her it was useless to look for love again. But if instead you knew nothing about her story and had to intuit it and learn it fresh, then, frankly, anything could happen—and in this world it often does.”
    â€œSo in other words, your Boss doesn’t believe in predestination.”
    Gus’s eyes opened wide. “Who knew you wereaware of such a word? Your SAT scores give no indication of that sort of vocabulary.”
    â€œI was stoned when I took them. All right, Gus, so what do I do?” Julian looked at Kate crying and inexplicably wanted to give her a hug, which he knew was futile since she couldn’t see or feel him. Not to mention he wasn’t the hugging type.
    â€œDon’t know, my boy. Up to you to figure it out. Well…I’m off.”
    â€œHold it!” Julian grabbed Gus’s arm. “You’re off? You’re God damn off?”
    â€œYou wouldn’t damn Her if you knew what’s good for you.”
    â€œBut you can’t leave me here. You can’t possibly leave me here, Gus!” Julian heard the panic in his own voice.
    â€œBut I have other cases.”
    â€œWell, before you traipse off to the next friggin’ coma, what if I need you? I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. I don’t know the rules. I don’t know anything, but that this chick has had a really bad day.”
    â€œI’ll check in from time to time.”
    â€œBut—”
    â€œJulian, the Boss wouldn’t have entrusted Kate to you if She thought you couldn’t handle it. She is all-knowing. You’ll be fine.”
    â€œNo, I won’t be fine. You tell this Boss of yours I am not happy. ”
    Gus laughed.
    â€œWhat’s so funny?”
    â€œWell, that attitude may get you a hot table and a complimentary bottle of vodka at the latest restaurant in the Hamptons, and it may even get you a shag with a