Heart Murmurs Read Online Free Page B

recreational sex? Because I have to tell you, we don’t do that by choice, Dr. Gupta. It’s not a goal. It’s not a life. Not for a top surgeon, not for anyone .”
    Her face was ghostly pale, and she’d wrapped her arms tight around herself like a tourniquet. “No, what I really think is that I was obsessed with you before, and now that I’ve actually been with you, I will never, ever get you out of my blood. So, for the sake of my sanity, for the sake of my career, I need to stay as far away from you as possible.” She gave him a brittle, beautiful smile with that confession. “And, yes, I know I said all of that out loud.”
    What did one sayto a woman who ran from their bed after a bout of phenomenal sex? Nothing. Vince could say nothing. All he could do was cross the room and pull her into his arms.
    ****
    Anu didn’t want him to be kind to her. She wanted the bastard who’d slammed on her door and barreled into her apartment like he had a right to be there. She wanted the prick with a God complex she’d always thought he was. Not this man with welcoming arms and a hard chest and lips that brushed across her hair in a gesture that was meant to soothe. She shoved at him, but he was unyielding. He didn’t move. He just held her closer, tighter…and it felt amazing.
    For the past five days, she hadn’t let herself feel anything. She’d compartmentalized, tucking everything that had happened between the Subtle Knife and leaving the Grand into a little, locked box. She’d charted the passing of hours by how many times she changed her scrubs, focusing on nothing but patients and reports and getting through assisting on a triple bypass without screwing up. But he’d still been there, of course. Under her skin, in her blind spot, caught in that split second between awake and asleep. Vince McHenry had seeped into her very marrow.
    She wanted him more than ever. Worse, she wanted him more than anything. That was completely unacceptable. But, oh, did it feel completely attainable when she was threading her fingers through his silky dark hair and breathing in the subtle scent of his expensive cologne.
    “It’s okay,” he murmured against her cheek. “It’s okay to want this. To take it. To keep it.”
    “No, it’s not.” She closed her eyes, shutting herself away from the power of him as she forced herself to speak. To say all the honest things that he seemed to value so much. “Because I’m some silly resident with a crush, and that’s going to get old for you really, really fast. You’re going to move on, and I’m going to be Meredith goddamn Grey, mooning over you until I transfer somewhere else. I don’t want to be a soap opera, Dr. McHenry. I want to be a healer. I came here to be a doctor, not a conquest.”
    “Who says you’re the conquest?” He was pressing the lightest, barest of kisses to her temple, her cheek, her jaw. His tenderness was nearly brutal in its sweetness. “There is another option, you know.”
    She pulled back and looked up at him. “Really? And what would that be, adjoining rooms in the psych ward? Don’t worry; I already have mine all picked out.”
    “No. It’s a little less drastic than that,” he smiled. “It’s a regular course of treatment involving dinner and movies, telling me about your day, hearing about my truly stellar surgical skills, and you reading The Return of the King while I lie next to you in bed looking over research notes.” Just like before, he loosened her hair from its ponytail, tossing aside the rubber band and tangling his fingers in the strands. Just like before, he was effortlessly mastering her. With his hands, with his eyes, with his words. “It’s simple, Anushka. Simple and perfect. You let yourself fall in love with me, and I let myself fall in love with you, and we turn into the best pair of doctors who are crazy in love with each other that our hospital has ever seen.”
    Yes . She wanted to shout, “Yes. Yes, let’s do