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lay there for a few hours thinking about my life – how I let myself get to this point.  Yes, he had caused this ongoing problem within me.  But I could control it – I could stop it whenever I wanted.  It was going to be difficult and I wasn’t going to like it – considering acting this way was the norm – but that was what I was going to have to do.  And if I ever wanted a chance at being happy again I was going to have to start now.  Or I could lose my true self forever.
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     

THREE.
     
    I was ninety-nine percent positive I was going insane.
                  …The other one percent was in favor of the theory that I already was.
    I was in the beach house alone and afraid.  He had come back. He of all people came back.  And we were in the same room – my room – the one he’d violated me in all those months ago.  The one I hadn’t stepped into since that night.
                  “What do you want?” I forced the shaken words out.  I was in disbelief I was actually speaking to him.
                  “You know what I want,” his voice echoed strangely, shaking the walls around me – angry green eyes glared at me from across the room.  Something wasn’t right and not just the fact that he was here confronting me after all this time.
                  “Please,” I shook as he somehow ended up in front of me cupping my face with both hands.  His rough thumb traced my lower lip.  I was trembling.
    “Shhh,” he whispered, kissing my neck forcefully.  I closed my eyelids and tried to breathe.  When I opened them he lifted his head.  It was no longer him.
    It was Jensen.
    That’s when I woke up – a bead of sweat dripping from my forehead.  I sat up as I waited for my heart to slow down.  Tears slid down my tired face.
                  Since the night of July Fourth I had dreams like this – facing him .  And then he’d try to kill me in multiple heart-stopping ways.  But this one was different, besides the fact it wasn’t nearly as bad as the others.  Jensen had been involved now.  In a crazy, menacing way it soothed me.
                  The sun was shining through the ivory curtains.  The heat touched my back, calming my nerves with every ray.  I concentrated on breathing and convincing myself that it was only a dream, Avalon.  It was only a dream . . . .
    I stretched, threw on a pair of old sweats, then walked down the hall to the bathroom.  Today was a new day and I had to talk to Tory.  It felt like I hadn’t spoken with her, let alone seen her in days.  I shuddered, thinking about Tory leaving, abandoning me – alone, lost and afraid.  She was my family, practically blood.  And if anything ever happened to her I didn’t know what I’d do.  After brushing my teeth and washing my face I descended the large staircase overlooking a marble floor and plush black velvet couches; large pictures of succulents and lush peonies hanging overhead.
    Luckily Tory’s parents had allowed us to decorate the home to our liking.  Any time we wanted to change something about it we did so, grateful that the Walt’s still let us use their Platinum whenever we wished.  Upon request we had cleaners come by twice a week to tidy up the place and maintain the growing shrubbery outside.  We had our own personal shoppers as well.  If we couldn’t make the shopping trip we would write down what we wanted – size, color, style – anything , and our personal shoppers would gladly get whatever our little hearts desired.  I rarely ever needed a personal shopper.  But it was a luxury.  And we were spoiled – especially Tory, who’d been taking advantage of this since the day she received the house.
                  Tory was sitting on a high-back chair in her Moroccan-themed kitchen.  She was reading a magazine; wearing a pair of navy blue sweatpants and gray t-shirt