Hunter Moran Saves the Universe Read Online Free Page A

“Arthritis like Nana,” Zack says. “His government is really scraping the bottom of the barrel to hire him to blow up Newfield.”
    We don’t dare peer around the steeple to see what Pop’s up to. Pop not only looks like an eagle, his eyes are wicked sharp. We hear him, though. He’s talking to Mom, who’s telling him something.
    â€œI know,” Pop says in a calming voice. “They’re barbarians.”
    â€œGood thing we’re not involved in the Steadman caper,” Zack says, barely moving his lips.
    Mom is still talking. “And with Tinwitty Night coming up, I have to judge those soup entries to see which one is closest to Lester Tinwitty’s secret recipe. It’s all too much.”
    â€œYou can say that again,” Zack says, forgetting to whisper.
    Pop looks up and we almost bury ourselves in the roof tiles.
    But wait. Diglio’s back door is opening slowly. We leanforward. It’s Mrs. Diglio. She teeters across the yard on killer high heels. Mrs. Diglio is his accomplice?
    Any minute we’ll uncover a whole nest of spies.
    Mrs. Diglio carries a box in her hands. She holds it out as if she can’t bear to touch it.
    â€œWhat is it?” I ask. “What—”
    â€œA bomb. Just like TV. They’re burying it for now.”
    I nod slowly. Zack’s a thinker, all right.
    I wonder how powerful that bomb could be. I’m thinking of the St. Eggie statue with its tons of bird poop blasting out in a million soggy pieces. It’ll hit our garden for sure. Pop will be fuming. He spends every weekend mucking around out back, planting, weeding, cutting, and screeching when he steps in one of Steadman’s tunnels.
    Now Mrs. Diglio bends down and carefully deposits the bomb in the hole.
    â€œOlyushka,” Dr. Diglio says.
    I whisper, “We’ll have to dismantle it. Good thing you can learn anything on the Internet.”
    Diglio takes a spy look around. The sun glints off his thick glasses. He looks up and he must see us. His mouth opens like a fat round O.
    Zack and I sit entirely still, as if we’re just a couple of extra slates connected to the roof. Diglio stares up at us, blinking hard, as if he can’t believe what his eyes are telling him.
    â€œYou’d think he never saw two kids on a church roofbefore,” Zack says. We move around to the other side of the steeple to get his mind off us.
    I hear Pop’s voice. He’s yelling, actually screeching.
    Something comes to me in a flash. I have a horrible memory of the bathroom sink. I see water. I see Steadman’s men floating around. I see that I haven’t turned off the water. There’s a lake in the bathroom. No, it’s an ocean.
    â€œHunnnnn-terrrr!” Dad yells at the top of his lungs.
    What next?
    What’s next is another problem. Linny has locked the window. How are we going to get back into the house?
    Zack stares at the window, too.
    It certainly is a problem.

Chapter 6
    Zack nudges me. “How about the steeple?”
    We raise ourselves up and crawl through a steeple window that has no glass. Inside, we hang next to two huge bells. If they clang, we’ll be deaf for thirty years.
    Below us is empty space all the way down. A rickety ladder leans against one wall. On the top rung, a pigeon perches on a messy nest.
    â€œHey, pidgie, pidgie,” Zack says as we edge around her, reaching for a step. I’ve never been this close to a pigeon before. She looks at us suspiciously as we inch our way down. Zack does it one-handed to show me he could be an acrobat.
    In two seconds we look like Steadman, with cobwebs in our hair and grit on our jeans. What’s the matter with the people at St. Ursula’s, anyway? The inside of the steeple hasn’t been cleaned in years.
    As we reach the main floor, Father Elmo comes out of the sacristy, surprised to see us. We try to look as holy as possible while Pop screams for us