I Love You, Always Read Online Free Page B

lift my fingers, wanting to touch it, but keep them away from my skin. The black ink is perfect and the letters of her name entwined in the symbol of infinity leave me speechless. He’s added some extra stuff around it too and it just looks fucking unbelievable.
    “What do ya think?” the guy asks, coming to stand beside me.
    I turn back to face him as he hands me the cream I know I need to put on it. “It’s perfect, fucking amazing actually. Seriously, thank you.”
    He smiles at me as he says, “Good to hear. Come and let me stick a bandage on it for ya.”
    “You don’t want a shot for your wall?” I ask him, nodding towards the wall of polaroids the guy has in his shop.
    I look over the thousands of designs he’s got stuck up there. Some of them are unoriginal, the kind of thing you see on every second person, the usual bunch of Chinese symbols, butterflies and random Celtic bands. But there are others that are far cooler. I watch as he looks over all of them before he eventually turns back to me. “Nah, as much as I’d love to, Luke, I think this one’s too personal and I wouldn’t want anyone taking it from you.”
    I watch as he rips up the trace he used to create the design. “You’re sure?” I ask.
    “Yeah, I’m sure. This one’s all yours.”
    I smile as I walk towards him and let him cover Asha’s gift with a bandage. “Thanks man, I really appreciate it.”
    Once I’m done, I pull on my jacket and beanie and walk out into the cold morning, heading back towards the city. I’m half tempted to go to work and see Ash, just because I want to. The thought of her there and me not there with her just does something to me. It’s a strange feeling to miss someone this much, even though it’s only been a couple of hours since I last saw her. I’ve never had anyone to miss before, never had anyone who would miss me either. But, if I go and see her now, I know I won’t leave. I’ll end up staying at the shop, probably working and then I’ll never get the rest of the stuff organised for her birthday.
    By five I’m done , so I head down to pick Ash up. Walking in, I see her standing at the counter laughing with Sarah as she cleans the coffee machine. She hasn’t noticed me yet, and as I stand here watching her, all I can think is how beautiful she is, so fucking beautiful. Watching her talk and laugh with Sarah is amazing, and so very different to that first time when I walked out and saw her standing in front of this very coffee machine.
    Before I’d even met her, Sarah had told me Ash never really spoke to anyone, that she kept to herself and they weren’t really friends. Knowing what I now know, I understand why. I don’t understand her logic and I don’t believe for one second that Asha does what she thinks she does, but I get why she withdrew from everyone and everything. I know the feeling of not wanting to be hurt by someone or something anymore. You get sick of life kicking you in the gut and sometimes it’s easier to just shut down and walk away. That sometimes fighting everything you’re up against just isn’t worth it anymore.
    Because you can’t change what doesn’t want to be changed. No matter how badly you might want to.
    So you take the easy route and leave, you walk away and you shut yourself off, to protect yourself. It’s what I did. I know it’s what she did too. I know sometimes, it feels like it’s the only thing you can do.
    But watching her now, watching her laugh and smile and be happy. I’m so fucking glad she’s not there anymore. I’m so very glad that she’s happy again, because she makes me happier than I have ever been in my life and I really want to be able to do that for her too.
    Sarah notices me and I watch her smile in my direction and Ash turn to see what she’s looking at. Watching her whole face light up when she sees me is without a doubt the best thing in the world and in this single second, I know, life doesn’t get any better than