Infinite Devotion Read Online Free Page A

their long night. I go again to San Sisto without permission. I know the first day will be focused on Sancia and Jofre, but it will not be long before Father and Cesare begin grooming me for the annulment proceedings.
    A week later, Perotto comes. My heart jumps into my throat, so I can barely breathe when I see his slight but tall frame and youthful, happy face. I run to him while he’s trying to take off his satchel, and he smiles as he sees the effect his absence had on me. My maid, Pantasilea, comes in to announce the messenger, but seeing us, she quickly looks to the floor and leaves. We’re both wrestling to free each other of our clothes. Perotto, getting impatient, lifts me onto my bed, pulls up my skirts, and climbs on top of me in a sea of down pillows.
    He reads his letter to me an hour later and says, “You’ll have to write back to him this time, and for my sake, ask a question so I can be back in a matter of days.”
    He kisses me on the forehead. I start dictating as he grabs for ink and paper.
“Most Holy Father,
I am sorry my attempt for solitude has caused you such pain. I have run to San Sisto to calm my nerves exacerbated by the difficulty of what you and Cesare want for me. I am feeling better every day but am not quite ready to leave yet. What can I do for you from the convent?

Ever your obedient daughter,
Lucrezia.”
    “How is that?”
    “Perfect, he’ll have me run here in the night to instruct you, I’m sure.” He puts the letter away, and then gives me a kiss as he leaves.
    ∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
    He’s back the next day and almost every other day after for two months. We keep writing letters with questions and talk of returning to keep Perotto coming back as soon as he can. Today is different, though; he enters, but as I run to him, he gives me a serious and foreboding look that causes my eagerness to halt.
    “I bring you bad news, Princess.”
    He takes the letter out of his bag and reads:
Sweet Daughter,
Though I am very glad you have come around to move forward in our situation, I have only sad news to speak about. Juan disappeared on June 14. He had been having dinner at your mother’s vineyard in the country with Cesare. Cesare has reported that Juan said that he must leave. Cesare, knowing it was not safe for a Borgia to travel alone in the midst of such enemies in Gandia, tried to accompany him, but Juan would not have it. Cesare noticed a cloaked man follow closely behind Juan’s mule as Juan left heading toward the Ghetto.
Cesare waited for Juan by the bridge by the Piazza Judea, but he did not return. Cesare decided to wait until the morning, thinking that Juan might be out on another one of his brothel visits. When he wasn’t found the next morning, the word got out, and the whole city has closed up and armed in fear of a vendetta.
Lucrezia, dear, please sit down now‌—‌Perotto, make her sit.
    Perotto guides me from my frozen position to sit on the bed. He sits and continues reading next to me.
A week later, a timber dealer notified officials that he had seen two wary men emerge from an alley to the place where refuse is thrown into the river. The men signaled backed into the alley and a rider on a white horse appeared, carrying a body across the saddle. The two individuals on foot took either side of the body and flung it into the river. They then all disappeared into the alley whence they came.
I sent everyone I could, bought every fishing boat and fishermen to search for the body thrown in that night. First, they found a body of an unknown, but then we found Juan. He was still as beautiful as he was alive, fully clothed and gloved, even with the nine stab wounds. I am going to seek such revenge on whoever did this and fling him into the river like filth. I have closed myself away in my room without food or drink for four days. I need you now, precious daughter. You must come home now to grieve for Juan.

Your Tortured Father,
Pope