Jason Deas - Benny James 02 - Pushed Read Online Free

the sheet and the comforter was an old brown blanket in pitiful shape. Brother Jim pulled it to him and found a small hole. He pulled at the hole and soon had his entire hand through. Gripping the blanket firmly, he yanked and tore until he had a few strips of material.
    He sat down cross-legged on the floor and rocked back and forth with the strips in hand. He began braiding them together saying, “Damn the snakes, damn the serpent. Damn the snakes, damn the serpent.”
    He said it again and again until he finished braiding. With his creation almost finished, the last thing he did was to make a final tear in the fabric resembling a forked tongue. Jim sat the braided snake on the bed and said one more time, “Damn the snakes, damn the serpent.”
    Getting up off the floor, he spied a book of maps on the crummy excuse for a table. Opening it, Jim noticed all the bridges were circled. He didn’t remember circling them. He didn’t even remember buying or possessing the map book. Frightened, he quickly closed the book. On the front of the atlas a message was written in deep black marker. It said, “Spread the Word.” It was his handwriting.
    The word shower popped into his mind and he jumped again thinking he heard a voice. Walking to the shower, he stopped as he saw himself in the mirror above the bathroom sink. His long brown hair glistened with a thin layer of grease. His tangled beard pointed in several directions. His hollow eyes turned his stare away from the mirror. Rings under his sunken eyes told of all the time in recent memory that he could not remember.
    In the shower, he soaped up and avoided his genitals. Feeling a sense of relief he washed his hair and shampooed his beard. After cleaning his body with a fierce scrubbing, Brother Jim ran a bath and prayed with the lights off. After the water cooled, he got out and dried his body. His mind filled with shame and anger and fear.
    His brain felt as if it was floating inside of itself and he began to speak out loud to himself.
    “I’m hungry.”
    “ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ”
    “Matthew 6:26,” Jim answered himself.
    “I will take care of you.”
    “Do you mean us?”
    Jim was so confused.
    Jim opened the bathroom door and spied a Burger King bag and a cup of steaming liquid sitting on the sink. He hoped it was coffee. He quickly looked left and right but didn’t see a soul. He stood as still as a statue and listened and did not hear a sound other than the distant sound of a highway, which reminded him of the ocean. Jim reached down and snatched the bag and cup from the sink and went back into the bathroom. He made sure the lock was secure and opened the Burger King bag.
    Inside the bag he found a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit. Wonderfully greasy and hot hash brown bites filled a container, which sat atop a stack of napkins and four packets of ketchup. The smells wafting from the bag had his stomach turning flips of joy. Brother Jim devoured the food and sipped at the hot coffee. After a few bites, with the food calming his stomach and his mind, he exited the bathroom and sat on the bed with his food. He thought about turning on the television but decided not to, wondering who had delivered the food and thinking they might still be near. He wondered if he had brought it to the room himself.
    All of a sudden Jim screamed, “Don’t question me!”
    His own voice scared him
    As he finished the last sip of the coffee, he started to feel what he attributed to the tiredness of a full belly. He sat on the bed and stacked a few pillows behind his back and head. He felt good and started to tingle. The tingle began in his toes and worked its way up his legs. It did circles around his knees, spinning his head in the process. His thoughts slipped to girls and breasts and bare stomachs as the tingle crept up to his genitals. In his