Knitting Rules! Read Online Free Page A

little accident you had when the yarn factory had a closeout sale.
    Time passed and we came to share a home, and wouldn’t you know it, he has never said a word. Part of it, I know, is that he respects me and my woolly choices, part of it is that he likes to see me happy, and part of it is that he knows what my reaction would be if he tried to tell me what to do with my stuff or how much I should have. I’ve returned the favor. It’s taken a concerted effort, but it turns out that if you don’t want to take any flack about the 17 half-knit sweaters on the dining room table, you just have to keep your mouth shut about the half-soldered recording console in the living room.
    Marriage is about compromise.
BE DISCREET
    You don’t need to be so honest with the rest of the world. There’s no reason for most of the ordinary people you run into — acquaintances, employers, psychiatrists — to know exactly what’s going on with all the yarn or why you have so much. Seldom will you be understood, sodiscretion is the better part of valor. If you get caught, however, and someone unexpectedly discovers the full scope and extent of your yarn collection and is stunned into saying something, I offer the following retorts.
    Someone says, “ You sure have a lot of yarn .”
    You reply:
    Response 1
    â€œ Thanks for noticing . It’s been a big job and it’s taken a long time, but I think I’m finally getting there.”
    Response 2
    â€œ This? No, no. This is just what I need for the week . The real collection is in my rental storage space.”
    Response 3
    â€œ Yeah, I know it’s a lot. I really wanted a rock collection, but rocks are so heavy. This takes up a lot more room, but it sure is lighter.”
    Response 4
    â€œ Sorry, I couldn’t hear you . All this yarn muffles the sound in here.”
    Response 5
    â€œ What? What yarn? These are my kittens.”
    If you have a lot of yarn, sometimes it’s best just to leave it lying out in plain view. This causes a certain kind of “yarn-blindness,” where your family will just stop seeing it. I realized this was possible when my daughter came into the living room (the living room that’s practically buried in yarn) and said, “Hey, Mum? Do we have anything I could use like string?”
    Five Reasons to Keep a Stash
    If anyone ever tries to make you feel guilty about your stash, there are several things you can point out .
    Some people collect rocks or seashells. Enough said.
    Yarn, if you get enough of it, can totally act as house insulation, helping to cool your house in the summer and hold in heat during the winter. It’s almost irresponsible, in the face of global climate change, not to have a stash of yarn.
    Wool is flame-retardant and what people in the fire business refer to as “self-extinguishing.” If something self-extinguishing is exposed to a flame, when the flame is removed it will no longer burn. This means that (in my speciallittle world) having an extensive woolen stash is practically a safety thing. Remind me to call my insurance company to have my rates lowered.
    Speaking of insurance, a stash protects against any number of emergencies. What if you lost your job and could no longer afford to buy yarn? What if you had to move to a remote mountain pass in Nepal and couldn’t get to a yarn shop without a five-day hike? What if, out of the blue, huge felted woolen car cozies became popular and the world’s supply of fiber was eaten up by the auto industry, causing wool scarcity and widespread panic among knitters everywhere? Better to be prepared. You never know when supply could dry up.
    It’s a way better alternative than drinking heavily or doing drugs, which is probably the way I’d spend my time if you took my knitting away.
CONSIDER THE ENTERTAINMENT VALUE
    There’s nothing wrong with buying stash. Many knitters feel guilty about this and attempt to