Les Norton and the Case of the Talking Pie Crust Read Online Free Page B

Lebanese Muslim asylum seeker. Pursued by crypto-fascist police and a gang of neo-Nazi skinhead kangaroo shooters, Dulcie and Ibrahim happen upon an outback Ku Klux Klan rally, where they steal the Grand Dragon’s Holden Kingswood and flee to Sydney. There they meet up with Mehitebel, a friend of Dulcie’s from when they were temporary visitants of the correctional system. Mehitebel, a diabetic single mother with a glass eye and a club foot, works at the heroin injecting centre in Kings Cross and lives in a housing commission home at Redfern with her thalidomide son, Sherwin, an asthmatic with a blocked heart valve. Dulcie receives an Arts Council grant to write a book of gay and lesbian poetry and uses some of the money to buy Sherwin a solar-powered wheelchair. The groupjoin a non-gender-specific forest alliance, become vegans, and although economically marginalised, find commonality of purpose and co-exist happily until their harmonious existence is suddenly threatened by Mehitebel’s next-door neighbour, Hurlbert, a sexist, homophobic warder at Long Bay Gaol with a primitive masculine identity problem. Hurlbert is also a member of the Sporting Shooters’ Association, owns two Rottweilers he feeds baby seal meat and is an organiser for One Nation. Despite their tribulations and Dulcie’s contradictions, Dulcie, Ibrahim and Mehitebel forge a lasting relationship on a tri-level basis of understanding and go on a journey of discovery. On their journey, they find spirituality, sexuality and social justice culminating in Ibrahim editing a gay newspaper and becoming the first Muslim to have a float in the Gay Mardi Gras. To add to their joy, Sherwin takes bronze in the men’s backstroke at a handicapped swimming carnival and Hurlbert dies after accidentally shooting himself in the head while cleaning one of his guns.
    Les glanced through the synopsis again, then carefully folded it back in its envelope and returned everything to Bodene.
    ‘Well, what do you think, Les?’ asked Bodene. ‘Pretty good, huh!’
    ‘What do I think?’ replied Les. ‘Menny. It…it’s brilliant.’
    ‘You like?’
    ‘I do. Yes,’ nodded Les. ‘Except for one small thing.’
    ‘Oh? What’s that?’ questioned Bodene.
    ‘There’s no Jews in there. You’ve left out the Jews.’
    ‘Jews?’
    ‘Yeah. They’re a minority group,’ explained Les. ‘And a very important one, too. Leave them out, and people will say you’re anti-Semitic.’
    ‘Anti-Semitic?’ Bodene looked shocked. ‘Hey. Don’t tell me about anti-Semitic and Jews. During the war, my grandfather Zoltan and my uncles Laszlo and Gyorgy were in the White Eagle Brigade. They killed hundreds of Jews. I know plenty about Jews, boy.’
    Les shook his head. ‘That’s…very good, Menny,’ he said. ‘But it won’t help your movie. You’ve got to have a Jew in it. And he’s got to be a Holocaust survivor too.’
    ‘Shit!’ Bodene quickly opened the envelope and hurriedly read through the synopsis. ‘Shit!You’re right,’ he said. Menny paused and thought for a moment. ‘Okay. I know what I’ll do. I’ll make Dulcie’s neighbour on the other side a Jew. Schlomo. And I’ll also make him a dwarf.’
    ‘A dwarf, Jewish, Holocaust survivor. That’s fantastic, Menny,’ said Les. ‘You’ve hit the politically correct jackpot there.’
    Bodene suddenly got excited. ‘And…and…What about this, Les? When Sherwin wins the medal at the swimming, Schlomo throws a big party. And on the wall he hangs a huge photo of Adolf Hitler.’
    ‘Adolf Hitler?’ said Les.
    ‘Yes. And the peoples say to him, “Schlomo, after all you went through, you put a photo of Hitler on your wall. Why?” And Schlomo holds up his arm. Smiles. And shows them the numbers tattooed on his arm. “Hey. See these numbers,” he says. “I put them in at newsagents, and win Powerball. Five million dollars. Now I spend the rest of my life. Heil Hitler.”’
    Les stared at Bodene, shaking