Margot: A Novel Read Online Free Page B

she was just back in her bed at home on
21 the Merwedeplein, off in some distant dreamland where she
22 forgot where and who we were. I always watched the door
23 when she was sleeping, listening closely for even the softest of
24 movements. I did not want her to be pulled out of her dream
25 land by the Green Police. I wanted to protect her. Which
26 makes what happened, what I did, at the very end, feel even
27 worse.
28S “Margie.” I look up at the sound of Shelby’s light voice.
29N
    Shelby and Peggy are both sitting there, next to each other 01
now in the red booth, shoulders touching, staring at me. Two 02
different sets of eyes, but really they could be one. Everything 03
else about Shelby and Peggy is so different except for their 04
eyes, rich brown, the color of milk chocolate. 05
“Come on,” Peggy says to me. “Have a seat.” 06
I slide across from them and pick up a thick plastic menu, 07
but I do not actually read it. Instead, I listen to the sounds of 08
their voices: back and forth and back and forth, like Ping 09
Pong. Are they arguing or are they chatting? It’s hard to tell. 10
Their words move so fast, thick with much emotion. I want to 11
reach my hand out and capture them, to hold on to them and 12
take them home with me to my apartment, to keep them there 13
with me at night, when it is hard to find sleep. But Shelby and 14
her sister, their words are like bubbles. Even if I could grab on 15
to them, just for a moment, they would pop and disappear. 16
Can I read your diary? I hear my sister’s voice in my head. 17
She asked me that once, as we lay there together, hip to hip. 18
Her voice was still light then, much the way Shelby’s is now. 19
If I can read yours, I told her, and then we switched books. 20
Because why not? There was no privacy anymore. And 21
besides, maybe I’d wanted her to know exactly how I felt 22
about Peter, so I could claim him for my own. Not that that 23
was the way things ever worked between us. 24
“Peg,” I hear Margie saying now. “You must go see the 25
movie. P ee ter is so dreamy.” 26
Oh, the movie. Clearly, I have underestimated her; Shelby 27
is not done talking about it. S28
N29
    01 Peggy laughs and shakes her head. “Only you would see
02 that movie as a romance, Shel.”
03 “That’s not true,” Shelby says, picking up her own thick
04 plastic menu and hiding behind it with mock offense. “He’s
05 dreamy. That’s a bona fide fact.” She lowers her menu and
06 stares pointedly at me. “See,” she says, wagging her forefinger
07 at me. “You should’ve come with me, Margie, so you could
08 back me up on this.”
09 “What makes him so dreamy?” I ask, and the sound of my
10 own voice startles me, as if the question has popped out of
11 my mouth, without my permission. Immediately, I want to
12 take it back.
13 “The way he hangs on to Anne and kisses her, just as
14 they’re about to be ripped out of the annex . . .” She shakes
15 her head. “You have to see it.”
16 “That didn’t happen,” I say softly.
17 “How do you know?” Shelby asks, and I realize I have said
18 too much. I feel my brow breaking into a sweat, and I am ready
19 to stand and run. The way he hangs on to Anne and kisses her . . .
20 “Of course, Margie’s right, Shel,” I hear Peggy saying,
21 though her voice sounds very far away. “It was just a movie.
22 Do you really think hiding from the Nazis was romantic?”
23 “I don’t know,” Shelby says. “Maybe. All cooped up like
24 that, with nowhere to go.”
25 Peggy rolls her eyes in my direction, but I cast my gaze
26 down, toward the table. My stomach turns, and I stare at the
27 menu, as if I am trying very hard to decide what I should eat,
28S though now I am no longer hungry in the least. I breathe
29N
    deeply, fighting the urge to stand up and run out of the diner. 01
For a few moments I concentrate on my breath, in and out 02