Miss Kraft Is Daft! Read Online Free Page B

“That was the plan.”
    â€œThe plan ?” said Mr. Klutz. “You planned to have everyone drop their books on the floor? Is that your idea of fun ? One more stunt like that and you will be suspended, young man!”
    â€œB-b-b-but …”
    Everybody started giggling because I said “but” again.

10
Getting Suspended
    Wow, Mr. Klutz was really mad. And so was I. When we went out for recess, I gave everybody a piece of my mind.
    Well, I didn’t really give them a piece of my mind. If I did that, I would have less mind for myself. But I told them how angry I was.
    â€œHow come you guys didn’t drop your books on the floor at one o’clock?” I asked. “That was the plan!”
    â€œWe chickened out,” Ryan told me, “so we called off the Big Book Drop.”
    â€œWhy didn’t anybody tell me you called off the Big Book Drop?” I asked them.

    â€œI thought you told A.J.,” Ryan said to Michael.
    â€œI thought you told A.J.,” Michael said to Neil.
    â€œI thought you told A.J.,” Neil said to Alexia.
    â€œI thought you told A.J.,” Alexia said to Ryan.
    â€œ Nobody told me!” I yelled at them. “And now if I do one more bad thing, I’m going to get suspended.”
    â€œWhat does being suspended mean anyway?” asked Alexia.
    â€œIt means you get kicked out of school,” I told her.
    â€œKicked out of school?” she said. “So you won’t have to go to school anymore?”
    â€œThat’s right.”
    â€œHey, that means you get to stay home and watch TV,” Ryan told me.
    â€œIt sounds pretty good to me,” said Michael.
    â€œYeah,” said Neil. “I wish I could get suspended. You’re lucky, A.J.”
    â€œThat can’t be right,” said Alexia. “Are you sure that being suspended means you get to stay home and watch TV?”
    That’s when Emily and Little Miss I-Know-Everything walked by.
    â€œHey Andrea,” shouted Ryan. “You know everything. What does being suspended mean?”
    â€œI’ll look it up!” Andrea said cheerfully.
    She reached into her pocket and pulled out a little dictionary. I guess she carries it with her wherever she goes so she can look up words and show everybody how smart she is.
    Andrea leafed through her dictionary for a minute until she found the right page.
    â€œAh, here it is,” she said. “‘Suspend. To hang.’ Suspend means ‘to hang.’”
    â€œSo if A.J. does one more bad thing,” Neil said, “Mr. Klutz is going to hang him!”
    â€œWHAT?!” I yelled. “I don’t want to be hanged!”
    â€œSorry, dude,” said Alexia. “It’s in the dictionary, so it must be true.”
    â€œI wonder if the past tense of ‘hang’ is ‘hanged’ or ‘hung’?” said Andrea.
    â€œWho cares!?” I yelled.
    â€œYeah, either way, it’s gotta hurt,” said Neil.
    â€œI wonder if Mr. Klutz is going to hang you by your feet or by your neck, A.J.,” said Michael.
    â€œIf you get hung by your neck, your head might fall off,” said Ryan.
    â€œYeah, but if you get hung by your feet, all the blood rushes to your head and it explodes,” said Neil the nude kid.
    â€œIt’s been nice knowing you, A.J.,” said Ryan.

    This was turning out to be the worst day since TV Turnoff Week.

11
The Most Amazing Trick Ever
    When we got back to class after recess, there was a long wooden box in the front of the room. It looked like the kind of box that they use to bury people in.
    â€œWelcome, ladies and gentlemen!” Miss Kraft announced. “Are you ready to witness my most amazing trick ever?”
    â€œYeah!” everybody shouted.
    â€œNo,” I said.
    â€œWhat’s the matter, A.J.?” asked Miss Kraft. “I thought you liked magic tricks.”
    â€œIf Mr. Klutz catches me doing