My Three Husbands Read Online Free Page B

Then a local indie rock station started a weekly “Tremaynne in the Tree” story, asking him how he was doing and what was new. His life was, like, totally surreal and fascinating.
    When his tree-sit was over, the tree-man who called himself Tremaynne came to Portland. He got more publicity when he joined an Animal Liberation Front demonstration in front of a big animal research facility. Tremaynne Woods, movie-star-cute hero of environmental causes and animal rights, was in the news again. You listened to his stories of animal cruelty because he was so incredibly sexy.
    But he still had to go through the bankruptcy thing because he’d been living on plastic for two years and his creditors were hunting him down.
    There are so many bankrupts that the proceedings are held with groups of ten at a time. Tremaynne and I met as my group was coming out of the bankruptcy courtroom and his group was going in. It was, like, ordained. The minute I recognized him I knew I’d marry him. We weren’t shy with each other at all. It was, like, we both instantly understood that we wanted to be together.
    The one thing I wasn’t quite prepared for was how short he was. He looked a lot taller on TV.
    â€œHow was the judge?” he asked. “Did he sentence you to debtor’s prison for the rest of your life?”
    â€œNo. It went just like the lawyer said.”
    â€œI don’t have a lawyer,” he said. “I’m doing it all myself.” He held up a copy of Bankruptcy for Dummies.
    â€œI used a kit for my recent divorce,” I said, all smiley, making sure he saw I wasn’t wearing a wedding ring.
    He looked me up and down, slowly, his eyes licking me up. I felt a hot stirring in my crotch.
    â€œWhat did the judge let you keep?” he asked.
    â€œMy car. I suppose because it’s not worth anything.”
    â€œI don’t own a car,” he said. “I don’t want to contribute to global warming.”
    â€œYou’re Tremaynne Woods, aren’t you?” I had to make sure.
    He smiled and cocked his head, pleased that I’d recognized him. “And who are you?”
    â€œVenus Gilroy.”
    â€œThe goddess of love. Here in bankruptcy court.”
    â€œI hate money,” I said.
    â€œBut you have such beautiful assets.”
    A warm shudder ran through me. “Not anymore.”
    â€œOh yeah?” he said quietly. “I don’t believe you.”
    â€œThe judge wiped out my debt, but he wiped out my credit, too. It’s cash-only for the next seven years.”
    â€œThose weren’t the kind of assets I was talking about, Venus.” He kept his voice low, intimate, like he was sharing a secret with me.
    In the hot, focused beam of his eyes I felt like kindling just starting to catch fire. My clothes were burning away. “If you’re interested,” I said, “I could show you my spreadsheet.”
    He looked me up and down again. He came as close as a whisper. “Do you know how they kill foxes to make fur coats?”
    â€œI don’t wear fur,” I said.
    â€œThey stick an electric rod up their asshole and electrocute them.”
    â€œThat’s horrible.”
    â€œI worked in one of those places. Undercover. I got pictures.” He gently took hold of my wrist, looked into my eyes, then glanced at my watch. “I gotta go. Destitution beckons.”
    We both stood there, staring at one another, not wanting to break the magic bubble.
    Someone should write a book about what it feels like to fall in love at first sight. It’s a weird, almost dangerous feeling. Nothing and no one else matters. It’s like looking into a wild river. You know that it’s there, just waiting to suck you away in its dark, powerful current. All you have to do is jump.
    I would have run away with Tremaynne Woods that minute if he’d asked me to.
    â€œThey like it when you sound contrite,” I said. “In