Rock Bottom (Bullet) Read Online Free Page B

the chest, and somehow I snapped back.
    “And that’s when I realized I lost her.  Even if I didn’t, I knew then I didn’t deserve her.  And, really, we just weren’t good for each other.  I love that woman.  I do.  But I will never treat her right.  We have a…what are they called?  Dysfunctional relationship.  I will never know how to treat her the way she deserves to be treated.  I seriously doubt I’ll ever be good for any woman.  Truth is, though, there was someone else I knew she loved more than she loved me, and that was someone I knew would treat her right.”  He rested his forehead on his hand again, his elbow resting on the arm of the overstuffed leather sofa.
    “Are you really okay with that?”
    “Do I have a choice?”  He sighed.  “No, I’m really not, and I’m still being a bastard about it.”  He swallowed.
    “Tell me about that.”
    “Well…Brad and Val are living together now, and even though I knew they’d secretly loved each other for forever, it pisses me off.  Really pisses me off…made me feel like they were just waiting for me to go off the deep end so they could hook up.”
    “Do you really think that’s the case?”
    “No.  But it still hurts.  Even though I know I’m the worst possible person for Val, it still hurts.  And even though I know Brad is the best man for her, will love her and take care of her better than anyone else on the planet ever could, it hurts.  And it makes me fucking pissed.”
    “So what are you doing about it?”
    Ethan had to relax his jaw to talk.  “I’m refusing to grant her the divorce.  And I’ve threatened to take full custody of our son.”
    “Is that something you want…full custody?”
    Ethan shook his head.  “No, not really.  Don’t get me wrong.  I want to see Chris.  I love that kid.  But, no.  I don’t want full custody.  Val’s been a good mom to him.  I’m only being…I’m being an asshole.  I haven’t even asked my lawyer yet…but I’m considering it.  It’s like I can’t…like I don’t want to stop hurting Val.  Like the stupid bitch shouldn’t have ever fallen for me in the first place, and I’m gonna make her regret it.”
    “Do you really want to punish her for that?”
    “Part of me does, yeah.  It’s like she…reminds me of my mom.”
    Where the fuck did that come from?  Ethan tried not to let the shock register on his face, and he felt more anger swell in his chest, make his blood feel hot as his eyes began to fill with hot liquid.
    He stood.  “Uh…I think I’m done for the day.”
    Dr. Thomas stood as well.  “Hold on, Ethan.  We still have twenty minutes.”
    “We’re done.”
    “Okay…let’s schedule your next appointment.”  Dr. Thomas walked over to the door so they could speak with the receptionist in the lobby.  “But before you go, I’d like to mention something.”
    Ethan shoved his fists in his jeans, again willing his jaw to relax.  God, he wanted a drink more than he had in a long time.  He nodded but said nothing.
    “I think you have a lot more to tell me and that’s fine if we go at your own pace, but I’d really like you to attend a drug and alcohol support group.”
    Ethan eyed him.  “Like Alcoholics Anonymous, you mean?”
    “It’s like that, but it’s run by a colleague of mine.  Her name is Jenna McCormick, and she’ s a Certified Addiction Counselor.  Lots of my patients who have a hard time opening up and others who have struggled for years have found Jenna to be more helpful than others.  I think she’s easier to relate to than other counselors.  I’m not saying others aren’t good, but I get the feeling you might prefer her to others.”  Thomas walked over to his desk and opened a drawer.  He pulled out a card and pen and wrote on the back of the card.  “They meet every Thursday night at seven in the basement of a church on Broadway.”  He led Ethan out into the hall and stopped by the receptionist’s