Spiritual Care: A Guide for Caregivers Read Online Free Page A

Needs

    Connie had always considered herself a faithful Christian, but when
she learned that one of the responsibilities of the lay visitors in her
church would be to "meet spiritual needs," she hesitated.
    She could understand the need to provide emotional support
and meet the practical needs of the people she would be visiting,
but weren't spiritual needs the pastor's responsibility? She certainly didn't see herself as an expert in theology. If she was visiting
in the name of the church, wouldn't that be spiritual enough?
    On her first visit to Helen, a homebound member, she gained
some insights into what spiritual needs might include. At eightyseven, Helen had been an active member of the church until she
broke her hip. Now she was restless and felt isolated. She talked
and talked when Connie visited, not wanting her to leave.
    "It's not just the people I miss," Helen explained. "Sometimes I
feel so far away from God when I can't get to worship services or come to the prayer meetings." Connie urged her to explain further, and Helen continued, "Well, I like being able to pray with
other people. It just seems that God hears other people better than
he hears me sometimes. Pastor Jessup's sermons always helped
me understand the Bible better too. When I read it for myself, I
have so many questions. The tapes are okay, but it's not the same.
I like the singing and the choir, but most of all I miss the hugs.
Nobody ever touches me anymore-church was the only place I
got hugs."

    Connie asked Helen about her family, only to discover a complex web of anger, bitterness and tension in Helen's family system.
Her husband had died six years previously. Two of her sons inherited the family business, but they could not agree about how to
manage the finances. A third son, who had moved to another
state, received no interest in the business and felt unfairly treated.
Helen felt caught in the middle. The sons constantly bickered and
came to her, expecting her to choose sides. She finally refused to
speak to any of them about anything. Her eight grandchildren,
who were all young adults, still visited occasionally, often asking
to borrow money that they rarely repaid. She loved them deeply
but did not approve of their lifestyles and worried about them
constantly.
    The longer Helen talked about her family, the more she
dropped her cheerful facade and began to tell Connie about the
concerns that had been nagging at her since she broke her hip.
"I'm just an old lady, and I'm going to die soon. What kind of a
legacy am I going to leave behind? Just a bunch of squabbling
sons and grandchildren who haven't darkened the church doors
since they were confirmed. What do you suppose God thinks of
me?"
    Connie didn't know what to say. How could she help Helen? What did God think of this situation? How did hugs and family
finances fit into spiritual needs? Suddenly she noticed the time
and stood to leave. "Helen, I have to go, but let me give you a
hug l "

    Helen brightened and said, "Oh, you have helped me so muchl
Thank you so much for coming. Do you think you could say a little prayer before you go?"
    Connie fought the desire to hug and run. She sat back down
and reached for Helen's hand. She thanked God for their time
together and prayed for Helen's concerns, including her family
and her desire to leave a legacy that pleased God. Helen grabbed
her hand tightly and wept as Connie prayed. "You just don't know
how much this means to me," she sobbed.
    This was the first time Connie had ever prayed out loud spontaneously. Although she felt awkward at first, she was glad Helen
had asked her to do it. The prayer obviously met a need Helen
was feeling, but it also touched something deep inside Connie. She
felt a new bond with Helen and a shared hope that God would
work in this situation.
What Is a Spiritual Need?
    Just as understandings of spirituality differ widely, so do the definitions of spiritual needs. Some