Swim the Fly Read Online Free Page A

very hot.” Coop convulses his whole body, his arms flailing, his tongue waggling.
    Sean nearly falls over in hysterics at Coop’simpersonation. And I can’t help it — the whole thing is so ridiculous that I start to crack up, too.
    We laugh ourselves to tears all the way up to the glass doors of the Rockville Mall. And I’m laughing, for sure, but there is also a drop of acid in my stomach that’s eating away at my insides.
    We spend about twenty minutes in EB, trying out the new games. Sean’s Ring of Light game has been delayed, so he just buys a Demon’s Basement strategy guide.
    We make our way to the food court, flip a coin, and decide on Mr. Taco. I order a number four combo meal: a Burrito Excelente, chips, and a root beer. Coop gets the same. Sean gets the number two: three cheese enchiladas, refried beans, and a horchata shake. We find a table by the window and sit with our trays of food.
    “That looks totally disgusting,” I say to Sean, stifling a laugh.
    “You don’t know what you’re missing.” He scoops up a sporkful of cheesy brown goo and stuffs it into his mouth.
    Coop unwraps his burrito. “Dude, didn’t anyone ever tell you never to order the number two at a Mexican restaurant?”
    “Screw you, okay?” Sean says. “It’s not my fault they call it a number two.”
    “It’s your fault you ordered it,” Coop says, laughing.
    “Yeah, well, it’s your fault you’re such a butt-wipe, so . . .”
    Coop and I share a look. It’s almost unfair, ragging on Sean when his arsenal of put-downs is so lame.
    Coop clears his throat. “Okay, moving right along.” He takes a sip of his root beer. “It’s time to get down to business. We’ve got less than two months to figure out how to see a naked babe. In the flesh. Who has any ideas?”
    We all think for a minute, eating and drinking in silence.
    “Okay. I know,” Sean says, sitting up tall. “We could get fake IDs and sneak into a strip club.”
    Coop teeter-totters his head. “That might work for me. Because I look mature. But Matt here’s got a baby face.” Coop scrunches up my cheeks with his free hand and I smack it away.
    “And you’re like, what, three feet tall, Sean?” Coop continues. “I guess you could sneak through the bouncer’s legs, but where does that leave poor Matt?”
    “Why do you always have to be such a load?” Sean slurps his shake.
    “You should talk. You are what you eat.” Coop points at Sean’s plate of burnt sienna mush.
    “That’s like the
second
funniest thing ever. Right after your face,” Sean says.
    Coop laughs. “Dude, we’re gonna have to work on your comebacks or you’re never going to survive in this world.”
    “What about binoculars?” I say. “We could spy on Mandy Reagan’s house.”
    “I don’t know.” Coop screws up his face.
    “She’s the hottest girl in school.”
    “True. But her dad’s a gun freak. I heard he’s a crack shot, too. Still, it might be worth it. Almost.”
    Sean wipes his hands on his napkin. “Mandy takes tae kwon do at the community center.”
    “That’s great, Sean,” Coop says. “What other interesting facts do you know about her?”
    “I’m saying we could hide in the girls’ locker room, douche.”
    “That’s your brilliant idea?” Coop laughs. “And
I’m
the douche?”
    I check my cell. It’s three thirty. I need to get to the pool before dinner.
    “I have to go.” I stand and pick up my tray.
    “Whoa. We’re not done here yet,” Coop says. “Sean’s still working on his number two. And we have to finish formulating our plan.”
    I shrug. “I still have to go.”
    “What’s more important than this?” Coop gestures toward the table.
    “I’m gonna go practice my butterfly, okay? You happy?”
    I walk over to the trash and empty my tray. Coop and Sean hoot with laughter just like I knew they would.
    “Why bother, dude?” Coop says.
    “Yeah, it’s not like it’s going to help.” Sean grins.
    I sigh. “I know