my other aunts Grace and Rachel, the implicationâwhich I sensedâwas quite wrong. I picked my words.
âI donât think thereâs any difference,â I explained. âI mean, all my aunts get their way, because itâs the same.â¦â
My new Aunt Fanny regarded me, I thought, impatiently.
âThe eldest is always the eldest,â said sheâand suddenly, with that little characteristic flicker, dropped her eyes. âAnd which of your uncles do you think the handsomest?â she asked.
I said, Stephen. I knew he wasnât really, but I wished to give her pleasure. I thought it was with pleasure that she laughed.âJust a little jet of laughter, higher-pitched than her usual tones.
âSo we agree on all points,â said Miss Davis. âI see you really are to be my little friend â¦â
I shifted uneasily on the bed. I was conscious that I ought really to be in my own. I was conscious that I hadnât, somehow, given the right answers to her questions. At the same timeâand how often, during our relationship, was that phrase, that alternative, to recur!âat the same time, I was fascinated. The semi-secrecy of the whole episode: the swift motion of Miss Davisâ fingers as, still earnestly regarding me, she plaited up her hair; even the two big tortoiseshell combs with which at last she pinned itâall was unusual, and therefore fascinating. At last she fell silent, sitting to look, with a long scrutinizing gaze, at her own reflection; and I got up off the bed. She turned.
âAnd what do I get, for my bag of sweets?â she asked. âDonât I get a kiss?â
I wasnât sufficiently fascinated not to hesitate. She rose, and swiftly, soundlessly, like a moth, dipped towards me past the candles. Her kiss was pressing, and very soft. As I bundled myself from the room I heard her laugh.
I didnât pad on, that night, to my Aunt Charlotteâs room beyond. I went back to my own.
3
What I am now about to relate is what I physically saw.
My window overlooked a small grass-plot in which grew a crab-apple. That I have not mentioned this crab before must not be allowed to diminish its importance: in a way it was as much a triumph of my Aunt Charlotteâs as was her parlour, for a pippin would have flourished there equally: the crab grubbed up, one might have planted a Coxâs Orange. My Aunt Charlotte kept the crab, for no other reason than its prettiness.
It was the prettiest thing I had ever seen. (Or, for that matter, ever have seen.) Its slender trunk was most exquisitely canopied by a small pagoda of brilliant, rustling leaves: for its fruits, delicately warming, with summer, from ivory to coral, I never found a comparison until many years later I observed the bill of a black swan. Charlotte, when they were ripe, could have made jelly from themâwhich would have given the tree some sort of economic standing; that she didnât was yet one more proof of her remarkable character. Sheâd made Tobias spare that tree, she once told me, for its prettiness alone, when she came as a bride; she wouldnât climb down now and make jelly.âI threw myself into eager support of such aestheticism, and strove for hours, with a paper and a box of crayons, to immortalise the beauty of our crab.
That night, (I return to my return to my own room), a brilliant moonlight drew me irresistibly to the window. It had been so hot all day that the wood of the window-seat was still faintly warm; I tucked up my nightgown to kneel on bare knees; the sill was warm under my elbows. Yet in the court belowâwhat ravishment!âthe crab-tree appeared frosted, so meticulously did the moonâs white light rime every bough and twig. It was a little tree done in silver-point; and so beautiful, thus colourless, that I mentally renounced my chalks for ever. I stared out, ravishedâand as I gazed, saw the treeâs cast shadow, (where