The Last Time We Were Us Read Online Free

front of the TV, Wyle E. Coyote’s anvils zipping across the screen, electric orange Cheetos flecks on our fingers, awash in the kind of joy only kids seem to have access to. As soon as the memory comes, I push it back down where it belongs. Bury it deep.
    “That was a long time ago,” I say.
    “Thank God for that.” Kenzie takes a sip of beer. “Anyway, you promise you won’t do anything stupid? Your capacity for forgiveness is about ten levels too high.” She’s talking about Veronica, about what she refers to as the “Cafeteria Incident,” but I don’t pursue it. Not now.
    “I promise.”
    There’s a rush of expletives from Innis, then he stomps his foot and throws the controller down. The screen goes black, and we’re back at the beginning of the game. Skip comes forward, taking the back way around the couch so the right side of his face is the only one we see, but when he grabs the controller and sits down, there’s no hiding it.
    I used to think Skip might one day be my brother-in-law. I was young, caught up in how in love Lyla was, sure it was going to work out for them.
    But that was the before Skip. A different Skip than I know now.
    I’ve seen his face plenty of times since it happened, but it still manages to shock me. His lips are red and puffed. His cheek is too smooth in parts, then wrinkly and raised, almost bubbling along the edges, dark ridges etched across. The side of his chin is achingly white, and his nostril is wide. But it’s his eye that is the worst, drooping and sad, the lids mottled like candle wax.
    He drives, swerves, speeds up, does everything right. He’s clearly better than any of the other boys. Maybe it’s because his fake-o job with his dad leaves him plenty of free time. Maybe it’s because the games don’t know what he looks like.
    MacKenzie shakes her head as I take a big gulp of beer.
    “I still can’t believe Jason had the nerve to come back.”
    I T’S DARK IN the basement, the glow of the video-game home screen our only light. I can hear MacKenzie and Payton messing around in the pool, shrieks and splashes, and then the quiet as they inevitably come together.
    Innis and I have been making out awhile, when he pulls back midkiss, traces a finger along my jawline. “You’re special, you know?”
    My heartbeat quickens, but I try to keep my cool. “Why do you say that?”
    He runs a hand through my hair. “You’re not like other girls.”
    Does he know this line is straight out of every high school movie ever? Either way, it’s too sweet for me to call him on it.
    He looks at me, like I really am different. “You don’t care about the stupid stuff like makeup and shopping and all that.”
    “What, are you saying I don’t look pulled together?”
    He shakes his head. “You know that’s not what I meant.”
    He presses his lips against mine, his tongue darting inside. His hands wander, over my chest, down the curve of my waist, around the back, underneath my bra, onto my bare skin. I feel the chills all the way at the tips of my fingers. I’m one of those coloring book mazes, and he’s got the crayon, and he’s drawing his way to the prize at the end.
    Part of me wants to go there. As he kisses me harder, I imagine him pulling off my shirt, unhooking the button of my jean skirt, us doing more than we have before.
    And then I think about what Mom used to say—“Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?”—and I worry that, as awful as it is for her to compare girls to cows, our lady bits to dairy milk, is she a little right? What if I’m just something new for him? What if he gets tired of me after this? I always imagined all the sexy times happening after I had a boyfriend, not before. I pull back.
    “Maybe we should go find Payton and MacKenzie,” I say.
    He tries to disguise a groan but then leans back in for a light kiss. “They definitely don’t want to be found,” he says deeply, under his breath. “Neither do we.”
    He