The Lost Days Read Online Free Page B

the Ümlaut posse had any heavy stacks of cash they needed taken off their hands. And like a good, efficient defender of the public peace, he took the opportunity to threaten me with a $123 ticket for unlicensed slingshot use.
    I held out my innocent, empty hands. Raven gaped at us with her mouth open. Even Ümlaut and his crew halted their game of Calamity Poker to stare. “Slingshot?” I said. “I don’t have a slingshot.”
    The chief looked at Ümlaut, who just looked confused. “Errrrm…I don’t see a slingshot, Chief,” he finally managed to say. Then the two of them got into a long discussion of the town ordinances being violated today by the medicine show and how much it was going to cost.
    I left them to it, and hid in the fridge box.

    Later
    A baby dog is a puppy. A baby kangaroo is a joey. A baby eel is an elver. A baby cat is a…lemon. A baby cat is a…pimple. A baby cat is a…mitten.

    An adorable baby…pickle??
    Am very frustrated.
    Later
    Questions:
How come the police are letting me camp out in a refrigerator box in the alley instead of offering me a place to stay indoors, or something?
Why is RAVEN just letting me camp out in a refrigerator box in the alley? And by the way, where and when does SHE sleep?
Does she look familiar or do I just want to think that?
Is she actually dull in the brain or do I just want to think that?
What DID happen to Rachel, former employee of the El Dungeon? Did she quit, was she fired, did she move away, did she just disappear? Or something…worse?
How’d I get those suspicious bruises on my arm?
How long does a medicine, gun, and doll show stick around a small town, usually?
Is their medicine as poisonous as it tastes?
How did Miles lose his collar, and where’s his owner?
What if I still have amnesia a year from now? Or…20 years from now?
Will I ever forgive my family for not coming to my rescue?
[Insert 1300 other questions I could ask about my family, myself, and my former life.]
Is it silly of me to think I’ll figure this out by following “clues” when I haven’t figured out a single thing in 5 days?
    Later
    Still no leads on my identity. Instead I am using my brainpower trying to figure out how Calamity Poker is played. After watching the Ümlaut crew play forty-odd games, I think I know the basic rules of gameplay. The person with the highest social rank (i.e., Ümlaut) is always the Dealer. The Dealer chooses everyone else’s position at the table. The more the Dealer likes you, the closer you get to sit to him. The two players sitting the farthest from the Dealer (called the Beast and the Maiden) put money in the pot before the cards are dealt. Every player gets two cards face down. These are called the Ballroom Cards. Players who have recently offended the Dealer usually get their Ballroom Cards “accidentally” face up. In between rounds of betting, the Dealer puts three community cards (called the Knife, the Rope, and theCandlestick) face up on the table.
    Instead of being ranked, all hands have a point value, which usually has to be argued about for a long time at high volume before anything is decided. Cards can have different point values according to the day of the week, combination with other cards in the same hand, or phase of the moon. The Dealer makes the final decision on the value of each player’s hand. If two (or more) players have hands of the same value, those players go into a Challenge Round—usually a choice between Games of Chance; Embarrassing Truth; or Feats of Strength, Skill, and Endurance. And all Challenge Rounds are overseen and judged by the Dealer.

    Calamity Poker in progress!
    I’ve also noticed that bets under $500 are rare, and always laughed at. Man, how much money is that medicine show bringing in?
    I should probably admit that the Ümlaut crew is turning out to be more entertaining than annoying, and I guess I could be wrong about Ümlaut being Raven’s enemy. Maybe he’s just more interesting that way.