The Teacher from Heck Read Online Free Page A

The Teacher from Heck
Book: The Teacher from Heck Read Online Free
Author: R.L. Stine
Pages:
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not,” I said. I fingered the yellow daisy on my blazer lapel. “I love flowers, sir. Everyone knows that about me. I’m planting a flower garden, and I’m naming it after you, sir. The Upchuck Garden.”
    Was he buying it? No.
    He stared at the daisy on my jacket. “It’s a squirting flower. I know it is,” he muttered.
    â€œNo way,” I insisted.
    â€œ No hablo inglés !” Belzer said again.
    Headmaster Upchuck stepped forward. He reached out to squeeze my flower.
    I was too fast for him. I backed away. But, whoa—! Look out ! I tripped over Gassy. A gusher of water sprayed from the dog’s butt— and hit Upchuck right between the eyes!
    â€œUh…I can explain that, sir,” I said.
    â€œNO, YOU CAN’T!” he screamed. He wiped water from his face. “Bernie, I know how to take care of you and your pals! You’re doomed. DOOMED!”
    â€œSurely you don’t mean that, sir,” I said. “We all know you have a great sense of humor. You can take a joke—right?”
    â€œHa-ha-ha,” Upchuck said. “I’m going to be laughing, okay. I’m going to be laughing when you get your new teacher! Ha-ha-ha.”
    He turned and started down the stairs. And that’s when the second water balloon fell from the ceiling.

    It plopped onto his head, flattened him to the stairs, and drenched him under a foot of cold water. The poor little guy was kicking and sputtering and swearing and swimming for his life.
    I bent down to help him up. “I can explain, sir,” I said.
    But even the great Bernie B. couldn’t talk his way out of this one.
    And the next day, Headmaster Upchuck had his revenge. Mr. Skruloose, The Teacher from Heck, appeared….

Chapter 10
“Y OU S TUDENTS A RE L UCKY !”
    So, Headmaster Upchuck sent Mrs. Heinie to the girls’ dorm to be their dorm mother instead of ours. And he took her away from us fourth graders and made her a sixth-grade teacher.
    And now Mr. Skruloose stood at the front of our class. He stood stiff as a broom with his big chest ballooning out of his school blazer. “Listen up, soldiers!” he bellowed, so loudly the windows rattled.
    â€œI taught in the toughest military schools in the country,” he said. “And I’m gonna whip you recruits into shape—if I have to break every one of you!”Skruloose picked up a wooden yardstick and broke it over one knee.
    â€œSTOP STARING AT ME!” Skruloose screamed. “I don’t like to be stared at, soldiers. Eyes straight ahead at all times.”
    I shut my eyes. This is all a dream , I thought. I’m gonna pinch myself, wake up, and Mrs. Heinie will be back.
    I pinched myself. Then I opened my eyes.
    Mr. Skruloose was scowling at me. “Did you just take a nap, soldier? I saw your eyes close.”
    â€œUh…no, sir!” I cried.
    This dude can’t be serious, I told myself. He’ll lighten up. I know he will.
    Near the front of the room, I saw Billy the Brain take out his laptop. He set it on his desk and opened it.
    Uh-oh, I thought. Did Billy forget something important about his laptop?
    Billy pressed a key on the laptop. A stream of water shot out and sprayed April-May June in the face. She let out a startled scream and fell off her chair.
    Yes, Billy did forget something. He forgot he turned his laptop into a squirt gun!
    And now Mr. Skruloose stood over him, glaring down at the laptop.
    â€œIt’s a keyboard problem,” Billy said. “I have to call the help line after class.”
    Nice try, Brain.
    â€œYou need all the help you can get, soldier,” Skruloose boomed. “Why don’t you drop down to the floor. Let’s see how many push-ups you can do in an hour.”
    â€œAn hour?” Billy gasped. “Butthat’s sixty minutes!”
    I told you he was a brain.
    With a sigh, Billy started to lower himself to the floor. But he bumped
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