The Wall Read Online Free Page B

that a good deal
    of Barry's nervous energy had come from pills in the past, but she
    had never questioned his personal lifestyle and he had never given
    her reason to fire him, for he knew his job and performed like a pure
    professional. She had never had any personal experience with drugs;
    she had always relied on her own stamina and strength.
    This was what had scared her so badly, scared her into running half a
    continent to southern Michigan. In that one moment, she had realised
    just how badly she was damaging herself with her ambition and
    drive. She had always been determined before to keep her body free
    from drugs, never to develop a reliance on any type of drug. She had
    wanted to make her success totally on her own.
    At that moment Sara realised how she had used herself. In an effort
    to cut an average of four albums a year and to stay at the top of the
    popular charts, she had sacrificed her time, energy and eventually, in
    the end, her self-respect. She became marketable, squelching any
    desire she might have felt inside to break out of the stereotype and
    adopt a quieter, more relaxed style of music. She had assumed an
    outrageous style of dress, had gone to the parties with the rich and the
    well- known, and had been so caught up in her own whirlwind, her
    personal crazy merry-go-round, that she hadn't realised just exactly
    when she had left her own personality behind.
    The one moment, staring at a little white pill, had brought her to her
    senses after eight long, climbing, striving years. Sara Bertelli was a
    smashing success. Sara Carmichael was tired, and a little ashamed,
    and totally alone.
    She would have to reach out to someone, before it became too late.
    Thinking of this made her think of the light promise she had made to
    a virtual stranger that morning on the beach. She moved, with a
    sudden eager urgency, and took her new carton of cigarettes along
    with the several packs that were scattered throughout the cabin and
    threw them all into the cold and empty fireplace. She struck a match,
    watched the little flame take the end of the cardboard box and
    stepped back to watch the cigarettes burn away. The aromatic smell
    filled the room and she sniffed appreciatively. Still, she couldn't
    regret her actions, and a peace that was beginning to become familiar
    to her took her mind like a wave washing gently on a beach, and a
    slight smile curved her lips.
    The cigarettes fell to ashes in the fireplace.

CHAPTER TWO
    SARA decided early in the evening to take another walk. She told
    herself that she merely wanted to get a shot of her sand castle in the
    sunset as she went about gathering up her camera bag and a sweater,
    but she knew that she wasn't being entirely truthful. There was a
    deeper reason, but she didn't try to dig into it. She wasn't sure that she
    wanted to know; it was just that suddenly the cabin seemed too small
    and too empty.
    She swung the bag to her shoulder and headed down the path after
    locking her back door and slipping the key into her front jeans
    pocket. The path was already becoming familiar to her, and she
    watched for little landmarks along the way. There just ahead was a
    small tree that had four big bumps on its trunk, and just ahead of that
    was the oak tree that looked as if it had been split in two by lightning
    several years ago. It was still alive, and ivy tangled all over it, half
    hiding the scar. An elm tree to the left, a group of more oaks, and a
    funny little hitch in the path caused by several tangled tree roots, and
    then sand. A turn to the left and a patch of blue and a blaze of gold
    and orange from the setting sun, and she stopped to take a picture of
    the vivid scene before moving on.
    As she climbed up the rise to reach the beach beyond, she finally
    admitted to herself that she had some hopes of seeing that man Greg
    again. For some strange reason she wanted to tell him that she burned
    her cigarettes. For some strange reason she hoped to make his