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an empty bottle of Coke. I look at him. His concentration is intense, clicking the buttons on the controller with impressive precision. However, if he walked down Clapham High Road with that face on, I think people would take him for a puppy slayer. He pauses the game and looks up at me.
    ‘What?’
    ‘Just this…’ I say, indicating to him. He glances around.
    ‘What?’
    ‘This look, it’s not…conveying the impression of a successful young businessman.’ Parker looks down at the dressing gown.
    ‘I’m not trying to convey that impression.’
    ‘No I see that but maybe, I dunno. Maybe work might be a good thing?’
    ‘Can’t. Haven’t got any inspiration.’
    ‘Well occasionally getting out of the flat might help that.’ He sighs and tilts his head. I hold up my hands. ‘Okay, okay. Just think there’s more constructive things you could be doing.’
    ‘Thanks dad.’
    ‘Can you save it, I want to show you something,’ I say, going over to my bag. Parker hits save. I pull out a DVD.
    ‘Is this another one of your homemade gay porn films?’
    ‘No, but I think you’re going to enjoy it.’ I reply, ejecting Grand Theft Auto and inserting my DVD.
    ‘This better be good, interrupting my playing time.’ The DVD comes up with a makeshift menu, I take the controller from Parker and hit play.
    Up comes my interview with Lauren. Yes I know it’s a bit creepy but I wanted Parker to see her.
    ‘What do you think?’ I say.
    ‘Fuck me,’ he says, sitting up. ‘Who is she?’
    ‘Her name is Lauren Bates, she’s some hotshot City type. I interviewed her today.’ We hear me asking her the first question.
    ‘Is that your interviewing technique?’
    ‘I wouldn’t exactly call it a technique.’
    ‘Neither would I, you sound like a girl.’
    ‘Thanks mate,’ I reply. We watch Lauren, both suddenly silent.
    ‘She’s very nice. You asked her out yet?’
    ‘No,’ I say. He looks at me, then sighs.
    ‘It’s been six months since Svetla,’ he says.
    ‘I know. I need to try something else.’
    ‘She looks very nice.’
    ‘Yeah,’ I reply. I think about what I say next. ‘She asked for my phone number.’ I look at him for a reaction. A sceptical eyebrow rises upwards.
    ‘Yeah?’ he asks.
    ‘Well, my card.’
    ‘Oh.’
    ‘Don’t say it like that, it’s a good thing.’
    ‘Sure mate. I’m sure she wants you. Deluded fucker,’ he says the last part quietly, as if only to himself.
    ‘At least try and be supportive.’
    ‘I will, as soon as you man up and get back out there.’
    ‘I’m trying,’ I say.
    ‘Do or do not. There is no try. That’s from Empire.’
    ‘Yeah I know genius. What’s for dinner then?’ I ask.
    ‘Whatever you’re cooking,’ he replies.
    ‘Come on,’ I say.
    ‘What?’
    ‘You’re the chef.’
    ‘I don’t think working at Harvester qualifies me as a chef,’ he says.
    ‘More than me.’
    ‘Alright shit-for-brains, what do you want?’
    ‘Pasta?’ I ask. He thinks for a moment.
    ‘Yeah, alright,’ he replies, standing and picking up the plate and bottle of Coke. He stops to look at Lauren on the screen. ‘She’s got funny ears.’
    ‘No she doesn’t,’ I reply, trying not to sound defensive.
    ‘Like, a bit too small.’ Off my look he then says, ‘I’m just saying.’ He looks at her again. ‘She’s pretty hot though, good luck.’
    ‘Nothing’s going to happen.’
    ‘Not with that attitude it won’t.’ He wanders into the kitchen. I follow.
    ‘I think it’s time to try at the relationship thing again, not just sex,’ I say.
    ‘You think this girl’s just about the sex?’ Parker replies, surveying the culinary choices in the lone cupboard.
    ‘I don’t know. She oozes sex appeal though. When I was in that room, man…it was tense.’
    ‘Wasn’t there a cameraman in there as well?’
    ‘Well yeah, but I think even he felt the sexual tension in there.’
    ‘Because of your homosexual tendencies?’ He finds a frying pan,