in. I slammed the door, as if being inside would give me some modicum of calm. It didn’t. Sitting in the driver’s seat and looking ahead reminded me of the bull, the one with Zeus’ golden eyes.
I’d just fucked a married man – no, strike that – a married god . I was a homewrecker of epic proportions. I started the engine and gunned it down the slippery road. I needed to get home, to hole up for a while and try to think through what just happened. Normal started to settle around me as I ate up the miles between me and my farmhouse at the edge of the national forest. I passed the usual landmarks – the co-op, the post office, and finally the pasture fence leading to my house.
My little white farmhouse looked the same, as if nothing earth-shattering had just happened. It had the same dark green shutters and the porch light was on, glowing lightly in the fading afternoon sun. I rushed across the yard, up the porch, and through the front door. I even locked it behind me, even though no one ever bothered with locked doors this far out in the country.
Saban weaved around my feet and meowed for his dinner.
“I’m losing my mind, buddy.” I knelt down and scratched under his chin. He kept talking to me, meowing me into submission on the dinner issue. “Fine, come on.”
I poured some food out and sat next to him on the kitchen floor, the cold tile a decent balm on my sore bottom. I leaned my head back and replayed some of the moments with Zeus as Saban crunched contentedly beside me. I absentmindedly trailed my fingers through his midnight fur as my thoughts wandered.
Before long, Saban was sated and we both went to bed. I fell asleep thinking of those golden eyes watching me, making me promises I knew they couldn’t keep.
***
The next few weeks were normal. Everything fell back into a usual rhythm. Office visits, emergency calls to the farms in the county, and evenings spent at home with Saban. Sometimes, though, when I drove along the country lanes, I felt a presence. It was as if he were with me. Every so often the feeling would be so strong that I would stop and inspect the passenger side of my Jeep. But I was alone.
Weeks turned into months. The weather turned colder. I spent what little spare time I had reading up on the Greek myths and legends. Apparently, Zeus was a known playboy who frequented young women in various guises. He’d chosen the bull for me, fooling and capturing me. After I read the last book I could stand that detailed his conquests in explicit detail, I threw it across the room. I’d been played. By a god, no less. I’d given my virginity to someone who’d taken countless women over millennia. I was just another notch on his bedpost, though at this point, the post was likely whittled down to a toothpick.
From that day on, I decided to put the “incident” behind me. That’s what I called it – the “incident.” I couldn’t bring myself to face the truth of it all. The memories stayed, despite my efforts to erase them. They bubbled up when I was asleep, and I would wake with my fingers trying to evince the same desperation my dream lover had brought so easily. They never did. Every orgasm was somehow hollow, nothing compared to what he’d given me.
I kept moving forward, building my small practice and serving the community. I even went on a few dates with a couple of the local farmers’ sons. Even as they talked about topics I knew well, I couldn’t stop my thoughts from straying back to the man who had made me feel so alive, if only for a short time.
“—then I came on back to try and learn how to run the farm and you aren’t listening to a word I’m saying, are you?”
My gaze snapped backed to Dean, my date. He had been persistent, showing up at my clinic every so often just to chat. He was growing on me, and it didn’t hurt that he was incredibly handsome, smart, and well rounded. But I was screwing it all up by daydreaming about my impossible incident.