Aelred's Sin Read Online Free Page A

well known for these little pranks and Brother Aelred already hoped he would get to work on the farm again with the old brother whose way with the animals was almost as inspired as St Francis of Assisi’s.
    As the community filed out of the chapter house to process along the cloister to the church for Compline, the last office of the day, they each, starting with Father Abbot, stopped to give the new Brother Aelred the kiss of peace, the monastic kiss offered on each cheek with their hands firmly placed on his shoulders. By now he was again properly shod in his friend Ted’s black boots. The young monk, thus embraced, felt at one with his brothers.
    Then it was Benedict’s turn, and, quite spontaneously, they broke the formal embrace and hugged each other. Aelred’s heart grew as big as his chest. They held on to each other and their cheeks brushed against each other, first the right and then the left. Benedict squeezed his hand and filed by as he made way for the next brother. The monks coming after smiled, knowing that Benedict was Aelred’s guardian angel.
    The chant continued. ‘ Ubi caritas et amor, Deus ibi est… ’: ‘Where there is love and charity there is God.’ The refrain was picked up by the whole choir processing out of the chapter house into the monastic church for Compline.
     
    In the dark church, with only the single candles on either side of the altar flickering, the acolyte of the door closed the doors quietly and stood inside the entrance, beforeproceeding to his place in the choir, to allow the acolyte of the choir to implore the Abbot’s blessing upon the whole community and upon himself, before he should read the opening lesson for Compline. ‘ Jube , Domne, benedicere ’: ‘Pray, Father, a blessing.’ The hooded monks with bowed heads received their Father’s blessing, and then listened to the admonitions of the lesson: ‘Fratres…’: ‘Brothers, be sober and watch, because your adversary the devil, like a roaring lion, goes about seeking whom he may devour. Resist him…’
    The Confiteor was then intoned: ‘Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa. ’The monks knelt to examine their consciences. They beat their breasts. The psalms were intoned and sung reclining upon the misericords. Brother Aelred was one of these in the church militant who joined their voices with the church suffering and the church triumphant with the hosts of angels, archangels, cherubim and seraphim, transcending themselves and being the mystical body of Christ.
    The new Brother Aelred left for bed exalted by the tones of the ‘Salve Regina’ still in his ears. His fellow monks paid their visits to the altars of the saints, the Lady Chapel and the Chapel of the Blessed Sacrament.
     
    The following morning, after Prime, Brother Aelred sat with a white sheet thrown about him, as Brother Walter shaved off his thick brown curls with an electric shaver. ‘You’ll soon get to like it, brother, and your hood will keep you warm.’ Brother Walter tidied up the back and sides and mowed over the top once more, giving Aelred the monastic tonsure. He was like a sheep being shorn. He was now like a sheep led to the slaughter, a sacrificefor Christ, shorn of the adornment of the world, the sensuality of the flesh. His thick dark curls lay on the tiled floor of the sacristy.
    Aelred stood fully clothed as a novice. He had removed his brown pants and wore only the customary vest and underpants beneath his habit. He stood in Ted’s boots.

The Guest House, Ashton Park:
23 September 1984

    Scattering sleep from our minds
Now before dawn…
    I keep his breviary open at the appropriate hour, the ribbon in the crease where he marked his pages. I learn my hours and enter my brother Jean Marc’s life, Aelred’s. J. M. we always called him at home.
    It was Chantal’s, my sister’s, idea. Call him J. M., Mummy.
    This is a kind of waking sleep. What am I waking up to? What is it that I don’t want to stir? Even now, having