Afterthoughts Read Online Free

her a note that
had already been sealed in an evidence bag.
    Paige’s hands shook as she took it
from Jay and held it up to the porch light. She could barely make
out the words on the letter through the plastic in the dim light of
the garage.
     
    Dear Mom,
    I’m sorry for all of the
trouble I’ve caused you and Dad. I need help. I love
you.
    Richie
     
    “ I don’t understand. This
letter sounds like someone who is reaching out, not someone who is
… about to …” Paige was trembling.
    “ Exactly,” Jay cut her
off. They looked at each other with complete understanding. They
had been partners long enough to develop a sense of what each other
was thinking. Paige likened it to a marriage where the couple could
speak to each other without saying a word. Jay was not only her
partner, but her friend. One she argued with frequently but
completely understood; even if she didn’t agree.
    The rest of the investigation went
quickly. Perhaps it was because Paige was numb and could not
concentrate. After taking Sarah to stay at her Cousin Aileen’s
farm, she decided to go home.
    She poured herself a large gin and
tonic with the juice of an entire large lime, crawled into bed and
opened her journal.
     
    “ It’s amazing how quickly
things can change. You think everything is normal, fine, routine. I
mean, one minute I’m running bath water, ready to relax and the
next, I’m staring death in the face. Why Richie? Why did he have to
kill himself?”
     
    She sighed and continued to write in
her journal as suggested by her psychiatrist.
     
    “ I feel as if my world is
caving in on me. I’m getting smaller and smaller. I have no control
anymore. I want to reach out and help but I can’t. I’m helpless,
alone, insignificant.”
     
    She toyed with the corner of the page
as she put her pen in her mouth, tears streaming down her face. She
wiped them on her sleeve, took the pen and continued.
     
    “ I feel like I’m going
crazy. I can’t remember things, days even. Something is happening
to me. I thought I was better. I thought I had made progress.
Today, I started to visit my sister, Sarah, to check up on her and
it was like a voice was telling me to leave her alone. So, I didn’t
call. I didn’t call!”
     
    She drew several
underlines.
     
    “ I’m going out of my mind.
I should have been there. If I had, Richie would still be
alive!”
     
    She gave up, slammed her journal
closed, and turned off her light. She sobbed herself to
sleep.

Chapter 5
     
    As morning broke, the
bright sun streaked through the blinds onto Paige’s bed. Her
swollen eyes blinked as they adjusted to the light. She calmly
watched the dust float through each streak of sunlight until the
memories of the previous day invaded the stillness. Trying to put
the vision of Richie out of her head, she decided to get up and
make coffee. She sat on the side of the bed for a moment and ran
her hand through the sunlight. Watching the streaked light dance
across her arm and hand she thought, “Such
a simple pleasure”. One, she decided, she
would never to take for granted again. Life is too precious and she
had seen enough over the last year to make her appreciate what
little things she had been blessed with.
    Suddenly, a vision formed in her mind
like a dream. She could see a small amount of light slicing the
cold darkness of a small room. The window appeared to be boarded
but the strands of light still fought their way through, streaked
across the room, and fell across her lap.
    She felt a wave of nausea.
    Holding on to the side of
her bed, she shook her head, “ What the
hell was that all about?”
    She shook her head again,
as if shaking out cobwebs. “Coffee,” she reminded herself and
stood up to pull on her pink silk robe that lay casually across a
huge overstuffed chair.
    Harry, Paige’s Labrador, looked up at
her hopefully. She reached down and rubbed his soft black ears. “I
guess you need out.”
    He wagged his tail happily.
    As she