B-Berry and I Look Back Read Online Free

if I say it’s tripe, you needn’t go on.”
    “I’m much obliged; but I’d rather judge it myself.”
    “What about this?” said Jonah. “When you feel inclined, in the evenings, let’s have the memoir piecemeal. Memory breeds, you know: and while you’re relating one, another reminiscence will, as like as not, come to mind. By the time you’ve both done, you may have enough for a book. And then, perhaps, when it’s finished, you’ll read us your tale.”
    “Lovely,” said Daphne.
    Jill said nothing, but looked at me and smiled.
    “I’m on,” said Berry.
    The others regarded me.
    “On one condition,” I said.
    “Yes?”
    “That no one shall interrupt me, whilst I am reading the tale. When I come to the end of a chapter, then you shall say what you please.”
    “Understood,” said everyone but Berry.
    I looked at him.
    “But—”
    “Nothing doing,” I said.
    “May I put up a hand?” he said. “That will mean that I have a question to ask – not that I’m seeking your permission to repair to—”
    Submerged by a surge of protest from my sister and wife, the rest of the sentence was lost.
    “You are disgusting,” said Jill. “Just because—”
    “As you were,” said Berry, “as you were. The subconscious brain again. You know, I was quite surprised when I heard what I said.”
    “You wicked liar,” said Daphne.
    “Well, let’s try again,” said Berry. “Should I make an arresting gesture, that will mean that I have a question to ask or a precious statement to make.”
    “That’s all right,” I said, “provided you make no sound.”
    “I see,” said Berry. “I see. Supposing you, er, don’t see the gesture?”
    “That will be just too bad.”
    “There you are,” howled Berry. “He’s going to ignore my gestures – cheerfully keep me waiting for hours on end.”
    At last, under duress, he gave his word.
    In fact, this was just what I wanted – to ‘try my tale on the dog’. I was not so sure of my judgment, as I had been in the past. I had hesitated a lot, before I let Ne’er Do Well go. I knew the new tale was ‘all right’: but I wanted to be sure that it was up to my standard, such as that is. If it was, the book would be published: if it wasn’t, it would stay in my safe.

5
    Berry was regarding the ceiling.
    “If I remember,” he said, “I allowed you to introduce into my memoir certain sordid recollections of the criminal courts. It was very weak of me.”
    “They sold the book,” said Daphne.
    “My love,” said Berry, “how often have I told you that to be offensive, it is unnecessary to be mendacious? Never mind. I, too, have memories of the law: but, with one exception, I should not presume to recite them, arresting as they are. The exception concerns a matter of law in France. It was not a criminal case. We all know the singular rapidity and brilliance with which the French execute and administer the criminal law. The triple murder of the Drummonds leaps to the mind.”
    “Oh, don’t,” said Daphne.
    “And then, if I remember, there was an English schoolmistress who was – unfortunate… But, as I have said, this was not a criminal case.
    “We were in France for the winter, and, it being the fashion just then, we engaged a cook. If I remember, she knew her mystery. In other words, the meals which she presented were very good. Unhappily, her self-control left much to be desired. Indeed, so vile was her temper that, before she had been with us a month, she had to be dismissed. So Daphne fired her and asked me to pay her off. I paid her one month’s wages and another month’s wages in lieu of notice. That, of course, I need not have done: but we didn’t want any trouble, and so I did.
    “When I laid the money down –
    “‘What’s this?’ said the lady.
    “‘Two months’ wages,’ I said. ‘Much more than you deserve.’
    “‘I demand a year’s wages,’ she said. ‘I was engaged by the year.’
    “‘Rubbish,’ I said.