Becoming Me Read Online Free

honest about something I felt really uncomfortable with tonight—something I totally regret. You see, I let Jenny drive me home even though I knew she was driving under the influence. Of course, she acted like having a few drinks was no big deal, assuring me she was perfectly sober (although I’m pretty sure she wasn’t). And I must admit it scared me a lot! Especially when she accidentally drove up over the curb just a block from my house. I mean, my parents have given me all those talks, you know the ones, about how youshould never, ever get in a car with a drunk driver. But they never tell you exactly how to avoid it. I really do know it was an incredibly stupid thing to do—and my parents would totally freak if they knew.
    I feel pretty guilty about the whole thing, and if anything like that ever happens again, I’ll just offer to drive—or maybe I’ll just call my parents to pick me up (although that would be unbelievably embarrassing). To be honest, I don’t know what I’d do under those same circumstances again. Or maybe I’ll just never go to a party like that again. I know how the Bible says to obey your parents. What I did tonight was anything but obedient—still, I didn’t drink any alcohol. Now, wouldn’t they be pleased about that?

THREE
Wednesday, January 10 (change happens)
    Beanie hasn’t talked to me all week. And she wasn’t even in youth group on Sunday. I do feel a little bit bad about that. But on the other hand, things just keep getting better and better with Jenny and me. I’ve eaten lunch with her and her friends every day so far this week. Although, I must admit it makes me feel pretty nervous being around them, like I have to act all perfect and everything—and consequently I can hardly eat at all, I just sort of pick at my food, which has caused Heather to suspect that I am slightly anorexic (which they thought was kind of cool), and I didn’t say anything otherwise, although I’m pretty sure that I’m not (even if I am a little on the skinny side). I know that I wouldn’t want to be because I saw a movie once about a girl who died of anorexia and it looked pretty sick.
    Since I’ve been hanging with the more popular kids, I spend a lot more time worrying about how I look; how I talk; what I’m wearing; and all that kind of surfacestuff. I mean, I really like hanging with Jenny and her friends, but I’m also afraid it’s making me just slightly neurotic. But maybe I’ll get used to it, in time. I guess it’s the price you have to pay for popularity. I mean, I hear Heather or one of them going on about what a geek some poor girl is, and I know I don’t want them saying anything remotely like that about me.
    And I have to admit it did bother me when Jessica Taylor (one of the cheerleaders who’s not so terribly nice) started picking apart how Beanie dresses while I was sitting with them. She made fun of Beanie’s long velvet coat (it’s dark brown and I used to think it was one of Beanie’s cooler pieces) and then she started calling Beanie a hippie and saying that she’s a pothead (which I happen to know is untrue). But did I say anything in Beanie’s defense? No way, I was a total wimp.
    Sometimes I really hate myself! But it’s a dog-eat-dog world out there—what’s a girl supposed to do anyway? If I’d stood up for Beanie, I would have been the next one on Jessica Taylor’s Hamilton High’s Worst Dressed List. And where would that get me? Already, I spend about an hour every night just trying to figure out what I can wear the next day that’ll be cool enough to hang with Jenny and her friends without looking like the poor, hopeless misfit of the bunch. I’m telling you, it’s just not easy.
    But let me tell you just why it’s worth it. Remember Brian Whittier (the boy who threw the birthday party last weekend); well, his best friend is Nathan Parker (a really cute guy who is on my top five picks list and apretty good basketball player too). Anyway,