Being Magdalene Read Online Free

Children of the Faith, Magdalene.We live by the Rule to keep us on the path to salvation. It is not for us to question it. We need faith, not knowledge.’
    I looked at the table, not at her. ‘Yes. You are right. I’m … I am sorry.’
    She gave my hand a squeeze. ‘I am to have another scan on Monday. It is so exciting seeing my baby before it is born.’
    ‘Could I come? And Zillah?’ I doubted Mother and Father would let us, but Zillah would be entranced by the machinery.
    Rachel shook her head. ‘Darling girl, it would not be seemly for you to see such a thing. Mother will come with me.’
    I thought maybe Zillah’s rebellious nature was rubbing off on me, for it was all I could do to stop shouting at her. I wanted to yell that I was tired of being seemly. I wanted to shout that I hated the drab sameness of my life. I wanted her to tell me truthfully what she believed about Elder Stephen and the Rule. I wanted her to worry with me about my sister and about Neriah.
    I managed not to say any of it. Rachel was a good and godly woman now she was married. I remembered, though, how she and Rebecca had talked about all sorts of stuff when they were my age. Sometimes I’d woken and heard them whispering. I knew Rachel had once questioned the Rule — I knew she too had wanted to do and know unseemly things.
    ‘Have you got a name yet for the baby?’It was what I asked her every time I saw her, so it was a safe topic.
    ‘Maybe,’ she said. ‘We are going to wait until we see our child. We have three girls’ names and three boys’ names to choose from.’
    ‘You might know after the scan.’ I hoped that wasn’t an unseemly thing to say, but she laughed.
    It was a most unsatisfactory visit. I cheered myself with the knowledge that Zillah had enjoyed playing with Hope, but Neriah’s heartbroken sobs echoed in my mind all the way home. It seemed a long time to wait till I saw her at worship on Sunday. Until then, all I could do was pray for her.

Three
    AFTER DINNER THAT EVENING, Abraham said to Zillah, ‘I’ll swap jobs with you tonight, if you like.’
    What? Abraham offering to dry dishes? But Zillah scampered off to help Luke take out the rubbish and clean all the shoes for the next day.
    ‘Are you ill?’ I shook my hand free of soap suds to lay it against his forehead.
    ‘Cheeky brat.’ He cuffed my hand away. ‘Listen, Magdalene — you know the kitchen girls better than I do. Which one should I marry?’
    I dropped a plate back into the water, I was so surprised. ‘Abraham! I can’t tell you who to marry!’
    ‘Don’t want you to,’ he said. ‘Just tell me if there’s one of them I shouldn’t marry.’
    ‘Ask Luke. It’s a whole year since they were in my classroom.’
    ‘Luke’s a boy so not a reliable witness,’ he said. ‘Start with Bernice. She’s the prettiest one.’
    Ha! He’d noticed, had he! She was more than pretty; she was beautiful — big dark eyes and the mostgorgeous skin. I used the words from the betrothal ceremony. ‘She is good and kind and seemly.’
    ‘But?’
    ‘I think you would upset her.’ I looked over my shoulder to make sure neither of our parents could hear. ‘She obeys the Rule and she likes living by it. But you …’
    He flicked the tea towel in my direction. ‘Okay, got you. I’m too much of a heathen for the lovely Bernice. What about Eden?’
    I sighed. ‘She’s quiet. Good. Cried whenever Sister Leah growled at her.’
    ‘Adina? What’s she like?’
    ‘I like her. She’s kind. She shortens her words when it’s just us kids around.’ I shut my mouth, not wanting to be horrible about her.
    ‘Come on, kid. You’re the only one I can ask. Tell me what’s bugging you.’
    ‘She giggles a lot. Sister Leah used to get furious with her, but Adina didn’t seem able to stop doing it.’ These were terrible things to say and would only get worse, because truly I didn’t think any of the kitchen girls would suit my rather carefree