Brownie and the Dame Read Online Free

hurry,” Brownie said.
    Miz Demetrice came into the kitchen. She saw Brownie with an armful of wadded-up newspapers and a fedora perched jauntily on his head. Then her gaze took in Miz Adelia, wearing an apron over a t-shirt and jeans and an irritated expression on her face. Finally, Miz Demetrice managed to locate Precious under the table, zealously guarding her dogly booty, even while she vigorously chewed on one end.
    Brownie dumped his load into the garbage can and shoved it down so he could add more. Dang it, I dint know I had wadded so much .
    “There’s pine needles and poison ivy on the stairs,” Miz Demetrice said as her avid cornflower blue gaze settled on Brownie. She deftly tightened the belt on her blue robe.
    “It wasn’t me,” Brownie said. He had practiced saying that many times in his life, and occasionally it was even true.
    “That was Bubba,” Miz Adelia agreed.
    Miz Demetrice’s delicate features knitted together into a frown. “And you didn’t cause Bubba to have pine needles and poison ivy on him, Brownie dearest?”
    “I did not,” Brownie said, puffing out his chest. “I’m innocent.” On the inside he added, Of that anyway.
    “Where’s the coffee?” Miz Demetrice asked after scrutinizing Brownie for another long moment.
    “That was Bubba, too,” Brownie said cheerfully. It was nice being able to truthfully blame someone else. That was the main reason he wanted his mother and father to produce a sibling. Transferal of culpability. Oh what great joy a brother or sister would be!
    “I expect I’ll have tea today,” Miz Demetrice finally said.
    “A fine idea,” Miz Adelia concurred. “Sit down, Miz Demetrice, I’ll put a kettle on the stove.”
    Miz Demetrice sat at the kitchen table and looked out the window. One hand slipped under the table and located the sweet spot behind Precious’s right ear. The dog’s leg began to thump in time with the scratches she was receiving.
    “Ain’t you gonna ask how Bubba got pine needles and poison ivy on him?” Brownie asked.
    “I find that in situations like this, it’s better not to ask,” Miz Demetrice said.
    “Knowledge is power,” Brownie said immediately. Boy, that saying shore is handy.
    “Ignorance is bliss,” Miz Demetrice said automatically.
    Brownie couldn’t come up with an answer for that. It was true. Sometimes it was better not to know something. For example, when he knew he was going to the dentist, he worried and worried about it. He’d gotten so upset the last time, he’d thrown up on his desk at school. It had splashed Suzy Derwinkle and Madison Blue, and both girls refused to sit next to him again. That’s a good thing because Suzy said she likes me, and I don’t like her. She likes a lot of boys, and she kisses them all, too, even when they don’t want it. The thought of it made Brownie want to wipe his flesh off. She’d tried to kiss him, too, but he’d run away screaming about “COOTIES!”
    In any event, when there was to be a dental appointment, his mother decided not to tell Brownie when he was scheduled for a visit so to spare him further anxiety. She simply showed up at school and picked him up. Apparently the five minute drive to the dentist wasn’t long enough for his stomach acids to get riled up enough to rebel wholeheartedly. Of course, Ma always included a plastic wash basin just to be safe.
    Brownie scratched the side of his head under the edge of the fedora. Ma’s not stupid .
    “Making pancakes for the boy,” Miz Adelia said.
    “A stack of wheats,” Brownie said salaciously.
    “He also needs a mystery to solve,” Miz Adelia added. “He’s a gumshoe now.”
    “On the square,” Brownie said. “All you tomatoes around here got to have some kind of mystery a fella could sink his choppers into.”
    “Tomatoes?” Miz Demetrice repeated.
    “Dames, twists, ankles, dishes, babes,” Brownie explained.
    “He shore do soak up those old hardboiled novels,” Miz Adelia