She playfully punches his arm. Yep, they behave like siblings ... until he picks her up cave man style and then I wonder. I watch them walk away from my line of vision, him laughing and her pounding ineffectively against his back.
Ugly, jealousy tears my heart open, and for a moment I forget to breathe. Yet, somehow I find my way back to my desk and attempt to fight the green monster. I fail miserably. I look at the paperwork on my desk, but all I can see is him walking away, carrying her on his shoulder.
I take a deep breath. Again.
She is his, she must be.
Deep breath, and another.
I’m not upset; fine, not that upset.
I shouldn’t be upset.
Okay, I'm crying but it's the hormones.
Everyone knows pregnant women are hormonal.
Gosh, I need to concentrate. I must not think about what I just saw. For all I know, she could be his kid sister. Except he told me he was a single child. But she still could be a younger cousin. Right, he never said he didn't have cousins.
Out of sheer will, I manage to focus on my work for the remaining hour of my workday. The numbers on the sheet are a nice way to escape reality. Numbers are my friends, numbers are easy, they add up or they don't. Numbers don't cheat, numbers don't lie ... well not under close scrutiny.
When I'm done I run to the bathroom and wipe my face. The woman staring back at me in the mirror has puffy eyes and looks like she needs sleep. I close my eyes and the image of Doc's girl appears in my head. She's everything I'm not, tall, thin and elegant. She's like a young and delicate feline and I ... well, I feel like a whale washed ashore.
Before I come out with other unflattering images for myself, Birdy enters the ladies’ room.
"There you are," she says. "I was looking all over for you." Looking at my face she raises an inquisitive eyebrow. I shake my head.
"Give me a minute. I'm almost ready."
She follows me to my office to get my bag.
"Were you throwing up again?" she asks. "I thought that was supposed to stop after the first trimester."
I shrug in a noncommittal fashion. I'm happy she thinks my eyes were wet because I had been sick. I don’t feel like answering any questions.
After packing my bag, I lock my office door and force a smile on my face. As we walk by the huge lobby bar of the hotel, Birdy waves to the other bartenders. One of them was more than happy to swap shift with her. New Year's Eve tips are usually very good and unlike my sister, the girl has bills to pay.
As far as Birdy's concerned, her salary is pocket money. She's got room and board for free at Mom's house, so she can spend her money on herself.
Once I asked her if she was setting money aside and she looked at me as if I had two heads. She didn't answer, so I have no clue what her expression meant. Hopefully she knows it's good to have something for a rainy day, but somehow I doubt it. She'll live and learn ... or she'll ask our father. I wonder how he’s doing these days. One thing for sure, his new wife doesn’t seem to lack for anything.
Everest is waiting for us at the bottom of the hotel steps and he takes my arm to help me cross the street. I laugh, and even though I protest out of principle at his overprotecting me, I'm happy he's here.
We reach the beach and see hands rise and wave at us guiding us to a patch of sand that has been claimed by the Tornadoes. Coolers with drinks and ice litter the beach, and a mini stereo perched precariously on top of one blasts Blue Oyster…In our extended family hard rock still rules.
I sit next to Mimi and try to make myself comfortable while Everest gets us drinks. A bottle of water for Mimi and me. I look curiously at Mimi who usually drinks beer but do not comment.
I throw a look at her belly, but she's like me, a very curvy girl so it may be too early for anything to show if what I suspect is true.
Toussaint, her nephew and adopted son, comes to say hello and then rushes away to hang out with the younger crowd. Mimi sighs,