Ex-girl to the Next Girl Read Online Free

pregnant with Kayden, and now he just turned one last month. I hate Malik and I hate men. I hate Malik so much I changed our son’s name from Malik Moore Jr. to Kayden Robinson. Malik tried to protest, but he isn’t entitled to an opinion or choice in the matter.
    I hate men so much I became a lesbian temporarily. It was very brief. I think, like, an hour. I said I was going to get a woman and treat her like I would want to be treated. I was going to buy her nice things and take her out. Then, when the thought of sex came to mind, I changed my mind. Unfortunately, I still like men. However, Malik really has put a sour taste in my mouth. If I can’t trust him—and I knew him for over four years and he hurt me and I had his only son—what would a man I didn’t know do to me? I think losing Malik has been worse than death. Death is permanent and you have no control of that. But Malik is still walking the earth and claimed he loved me, and treated me like this. I guess I’ll never know, because I will never love another man again. You give everything, and no matter what you say, the other person doesn’t get it. You try to make it work. I thought I would be married for thirty years like my parents, but things don’t always go the way you plan them.
    My mom has been trying to get me to see a doctor about my depression. I have been fighting it by myself all these months. Nobody sees how difficult it is to be in my situation. All my sisters and my mom say is, Get over it . You are not the first, and you won’t be the last, single mom. They don’t get it. Nobody does. I’m trying to pick up the pieces of my life. A whole year has gone by, and I haven’t moved from the place in my mind where Malik left me.
    I got up from the table. Enough thinking and rehashing old memories. I looked around my living room. There were toy cars and building blocks scattered all over the place. I didn’t have the energy to clean up. I went up the stairs to tell Kevin and Kayden to get up. It was now seven—I had to be at work by nine. Kevin had to be at school by eight-fifteen, and I dropped Kayden off after that.
    I went into Kevin’s room. I had everything decorated with red, blue, yellow, and green crayons, a red dresser, multicolored fan, toy chest, and desk set.
    â€œWake up, sleepyhead,” I shouted as I began to lightly shake Kevin up. He turned over and tried to pull the covers back over his head.
    â€œKevin, get up now,” I said as I searched his drawers for matching socks. I pulled out two navy socks that looked like they matched close enough. I grabbed his white t-shirt and underwear and laid them on the ironing board in the hallway. Now all I needed was to find a clean school shirt and pants. Kevin still wasn’t up.
    â€œKevin, this is my last time calling you.” He got up and headed for the bathroom as his head and body swayed sleepily back and forth. I heard him turn on the shower. I looked at the clock again: 7:10. Time was moving too fast.
    I walked into Kayden’s room; it was decorated in a mint-green and pine wood. Mint-green was the only color that went over the color pink perfectly. Kayden was supposed to be a girl, so I had to paint over the pink without having a dark room. Kayden was already awake, standing up and looking at me. He had a few teeth and couldn’t talk that much yet. He knew how to say “Mommy” and “bottle.” I grabbed him and he grabbed his bottle. I took him into the bathroom and sat him in the sink. Kevin was in the shower, just about to come out. I handed him a towel. I washed and dressed Kayden. Kevin had put on his clothes.
    I sat them at the breakfast table and turned the television on to Caillou and they ate breakfast. Okay, it was now 7:45; I had fifteen minutes to get myself together. I showered, turned on my curling iron, and curled my hair. I parted my hair in four sections and curled each section