Half-Price Homicide Read Online Free

do-it-yourself attitude.”
    “Do the Dandy Warhols count?” Helen said. “They did the theme for Veronica Mars, ‘We Used to Be Friends.’ “
    “Maybe in the beginning, before they became a crappy pop band. They’re sellouts now, like me. I hustle old clothes.”
    “You’re recycling,” Helen said. “Why did you leave radio, if you loved it?”
    “I got fired,” Vera said. “I played music and read the news on the hour. At two o’clock one morning, I decided to tell the truth about a staff resignation. I can still recite it.”
    Vera switched to a newsreader’s voice: “And in news you won’t hear on this campus station, the dean of students was caught banging a freshman in his office. He was allowed to resign with a full pension. The dean said they were deeply in love. She said his love wasn’t that deep. Maybe two inches on his best day.”
    “You said that on the air?” Helen said.
    “Oh, yeah,” Vera said. “You’d be surprised who listens to a nowhere campus station at two a.m. The GM came in and personally fired me. I was out of the business.
    “It’s my own damn fault. My mom lent me the money to buy this place and I joined the wonderful world of retail.”
    “Is it always this crazy here at Snapdragon’s?” Helen asked.
    “You ain’t seen nothing yet,” Vera said. “This is an emotional business. Everyone wants to look richer than they are. Loretta is the easiest type to deal with, a professional who has to look good.
    “Your neighbor Jordan is hunting for a man. She’s convinced if she finds the right dress, she’ll get a rich guy and be happy.”
    “It didn’t help Chrissy,” Helen said.
    “Poor Chrissy. Her husband, Danny, is a control freak.”
    “I couldn’t imagine my fiancé, Phil, caring how many purses I have,” Helen said.
    Vera took another long drink and said, “Phil doesn’t need to control you. I doubt if he could. Danny is a developer. Until his Orchid House hotel complex is approved, he’s in the spotlight. He doesn’t like it.”
    “Then why do it?”
    “Despite the way Danny was poor-mouthing, he stands to make millions,” Vera said. “Developers are like riverboat gamblers. One year they’re rich—the next they’re busted. He can’t help that. The only thing Danny can control is his wife. He won’t give her a dime, but she has unlimited shopping at all the major stores. Chrissy outfoxed him. She buys superexpensive merchandise, keeps it until she can’t return it to the store, then brings it to me for consignment. I sell it and we split the money. She’s hauled off about four thousand dollars so far this year. Danny never tumbled to her scheme until today. He’s usually too smart to blow up in public, but right now he’s playing a dangerous game.”
    “How? ” Helen asked.
    “He needs the approval of the county commission to tear down the old Orchid House and build a new project. That’s why he’s cozying up to Loretta. He’s after her vote, not her ass. She’s one of two holdouts.”
    “Danny doesn’t play around?” Helen asked.
    “Of course he does. Chrissy is his third wife. He has at least one sweetie on the side. I’ve seen him having dinner with pretty ladies in the restaurants along Las Olas. I don’t think he was asking them for loans.”
    “Too bad for Chrissy,” Helen said.
    “She’s no angel,” Vera said. “She’s a customer of the Exceptional Pool Service.”
    Helen looked at her blankly. “What’s that mean? Our pool is cleaned by my landlady with a long-handled net.”
    “Exceptional Service lives up to its name. Their ads promise, ‘We get into places you never consider.’ The joke is they’re exceptionally good at getting in bed with unhappy wives. Check out their ads online. Their employees look like Chippendales and their service uniform is tight white shorts and a tan. Almost makes me wish I had a pool.
    “I’ve been up here yakking too long,” Vera said. “I’d better go check on