Hiss Me Deadly Read Online Free Page B

my lips. Too late.
    The lynx had spotted us. He stalked up the hall, oozing menace. Mauler's scowl was dark enough to cause a rainstorm in the Sahara, and his fangs twinkled in that special, so-pleased-to-bite-you way.
    He loomed over us. "And vhat," asked Gustav Mauler, "are
you
up to?"

7. The Missing Lynx
    Waldo gulped. His eyes bugged out like baseballs in a sock.
    "Vell?" rumbled Mr. Mauler. "Vhat are you doing?"
    "The Hokey Pokey," I said, sticking my right foot in and shaking it all about. "What are
you
doing?"
    Gustav Mauler snarled. As snarls go, it was pretty convincing. He looked tougher than Bulgarian algebra and deadlier than a poot in a sleeping bag.
    "Since vhen is dot your business?" he said. "I'm de teacher; you're de student."
    I eyed his burly frame. "If
you're
a music teacher, I'm Mother Goose."
    "You tink I cannot giff you detention?" he
growled. "Vould you like to go to de playground now, or vould you like to find out?"
    Waldo tugged on my sleeve. "Playground?" he said. "Pretty please?"
    The lynx extended a thick arm and pointed. "Get lost."
    I tipped my hat, and we ambled off. "Interesting," I said to Natalie once we were out of earshot.
    "Very," she said.
    Waldo blinked at us. "Is detective work always this scary? If it is, I don't want to play anymore."
    I turned to Natalie. "Let's be thankful for small favors."

    Back in class, our substitute flapped her gums about earth science, while I gazed at the blackboard, unseeing. My mind was farther away than a summer vacation on Neptune.
    What path should we try next? Mr. Mauler seemed to be hiding something, but then, so did Johnny Ringo. Was one of them the thief?
    The porcupine gabbed. I mused. Maybe I was on the wrong track. Maybe I should be finding witnesses instead of grilling suspects....
    The sound of my own name broke into my thoughts.
    Ms. Dwyer was giving me the fish eye. "You
are
Chet Gecko, aren't you?"
    "Uh, last time I checked."
    "Then why don't you tell us all about earth tremors?"
    I scratched my chin. "Um ... well, I do know one thing about 'em. I know what happens to cows in an earthquake."
    "What's that?" she asked.
    "They give milk shakes," I said.
    My classmates' chuckles were chopped off by the porcupine's glare. Her beady-eyed gaze returned to me. "Are you looking for trouble?"
    "Nope," I said. "But it comes whether I look or not."
    "If you can't speak respectfully, I'm sending you to the principal's office."
    I shrugged. "Might as well. I'm not getting much done here."
    "That's it!" Ms. Dwyer's quills bristled like an attack cactus. "You're getting double homework."
    "
Double!?
But I've got real work to do!"
    She scribbled on a pink pad and thrust the note at me. "Go see Mr. Zero right now."
    I bit back a smart remark, took the slip, and shuffled out the door.
    The halls echoed with the cries of little kids on
their lunch break. I brightened. Maybe I could do some investigating on my way to being punished.
    Halfway to the office, I spotted my sister playing with two other munchkins out on the grass.
    "Pinky!" I called.
    Her head went up, and her eyes got big. She trotted over.
    "Chet!" she said. "You found it!"
    "Not yet, runt," I said.
    Pinky's chin quivered. "But... but what if Mom needs the necklace for her party tomorrow?"
    "No worries," I said. "I'll find it long before then."
    She gave me a tiny, hopeful smile.
    I pasted on a confident grin. But inside, I was plenty worried. A hard-bitten detective hates to admit it, but it's nice to have someone who looks up to you. And I didn't want to see Pinky's trust turn to disgust.
    Even if she was my bratty little sister.
    "Tell your friends to come over," I said. "I want to ask them about the thefts."
    But just then, a flying squirrel with a hall monitor's badge barreled up to us. "What are you doing here, girlie?" she said around a huge wad of gum. "Get back out on the playground. Scat!"
    Pinky hightailed it onto the grass.
    I checked out the squirrel. She was the same critter I'd