Hiss Me Deadly Read Online Free

Hiss Me Deadly
Book: Hiss Me Deadly Read Online Free
Author: Bruce Hale
Pages:
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Huh?"
    "Not yet," I said, "but we're following leads. It'll turn up."
    She slumped. "But what if it doesn't?"
    "It will."
    "But what if you're wrong?"
    I spread my arms wide. "Me, the greatest lizard detective at school? I'm never wrong. Cheer up, munchkin."
    Pinky gave a shy smile and began to trudge home.
    As I followed, the thought struck me: What if I
was
wrong? What if I couldn't find the necklace? Pinky would be crushed.
    I shook my head. Why should that bother me? Hard-boiled detectives don't worry about their sisters' feelings. They just knock heads, solve mysteries, take a licking, and keep on ticking.
    But that little voice inside wasn't as easy to fool as a little sister.
    From a simple case of theft, this was growing into something as challenging as Scrabble in Swahili. And I had a sinking feeling it would only get worse.

6. Snakey Breaky Heart
    The next morning, clouds covered the sky, as dark and deep as a bullfrog's belch. It suited my mood to a T.
    If you ask me, mornings are a terrible way to start the day. I say we should just jump directly to recess, followed by lunch.
    Unfortunately, the principal seldom listens to what I have to say.
    On the way to school, I stirred the soggy corn-flakes in that bowl of mush I call my brain. Somewhere out there, a thief was laughing at me. He or she had ripped off my sister, and I hadn't yet caught the creep.
    The only saving grace: My mom hadn't noticed her pearl necklace was missing. At least not yet.
    A voice broke into my thoughts. "Look out below!"
    I glanced up to see Natalie swooping into a two-point landing on the sidewalk. Mockingbirds have some serious moves.
    "Hey, private-eye guy," said Natalie. "What's the scoop?"
    "Chocolate or pistachio," I said.
    She stretched a wing. "Dang. I was hoping for some earthworm ripple. Ready to track down a thief?"
    I yawned. "Ready to go back to bed," I said. "But since I'm up, might as well catch a bad guy."
    We had almost reached the school grounds. A clamor of voices came from a knot of students and parents near the gate.
    "What's the hubbub, bub?" asked Natalie.
    "Search me," I said. "Let's go see."
    Natalie and I had to use our elbows to clear a path through the crowd. I glimpsed tangled ropes hanging across the gate.
    Finally, we popped out in front. Instinctively, I took a step back.
    The ropes were snakes.
    Nearly a dozen serpents—cobras, pythons, cottonmouths, and so on—had twined themselves around and across the gate, blocking the entrance. A hefty anaconda held two picket signs in her coils: UNFAIR

    TO SNAKES and LET OUR KIDS LEARN. (At least, I THINK she was a girl snake. How do you tell for sure?)
    She gave us a sarcastic smile and stuck out her forked tongue.
    Across from her, a rattler lectured.
    "But you won't let
our
kids go here," he yelled, shaking his rattle. "Is that fair?"
    "No!" shouted the other serpents.
    A voice behind me boomed, "Can it, Percy. You know that poisonous and constricting snakes aren't allowed here. It's the law."
    Principal Zero shouldered his way through the group. His ears were laid back and his eyes were slits. But Percy the rattler didn't seem to care.
    "Big Fat Zero," he sneered. "
This
is for your law!
P-too!
" And the rattlesnake hocked a major loogey right onto the pavement at the principal's feet. It bubbled slightly—a poison spitball.
    All the serpents hissed.
    The huge cat's tail lashed like a crazy, well, snake. "Break this up right now!" said Mr. Zero. "Before the police break it up for you."
    The snakes tightened their grip on the fence and one another. They chanted:
"
Heck no, we won't go

till our kids can come here, yo!
"
    I turned to Natalie. "Shakespeare it ain't."
    "But it does get the point across," she said.
    Sirens wailed. A police van pulled to the curb, and the officers forced their way through. Within minutes, they had wound the serpents around long poles like some strange snack (Snakes on a Stick?) and carried them off to the paddy
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