Hurts So Good Read Online Free

crying. “Just please. Leave, baby.” For a moment she stared at him. “Jane, just fucking leave . Can’t you see that I don’t want you in my life right now?” He roared out the words, already regretting them, but knowing until he could get his thoughts and emotions under control, all he was to Jane was a toxic mess. Her tears flowed harder and faster.
    “You don’t mean that.” She shook her head, and her blonde hair, which hung loosely around her shoulders, swayed back and forth.
    “Yeah, Jane, I really do mean it. I am not ready to get better. I like being numb, like that I can get that from the alcohol and weed. I don’t need you or anyone else telling me when I should move past this. Only I can decide that, and right now all I want to decide is if I want whiskey or vodka, and how many joints I want to smoke for the day. Now, please just get the fuck out of my life, because, baby, all I’ll do is take you to hell right along with me.” He felt so many hard emotions inside of himself, ones that were crippling, even through the fog of the mind-altering substances he was on.
    “I love you, and I’m not willing to give up on you, even if you want to continue to push me away.” She choked out those words, but in her face he could see her hesitance to leave.
    So, to make his point clear, and to make sure that Jane knew that bringing her closer would only ruin her right along with him, Mack said the most painful words he had ever uttered to someone he loved. “Jane, I’ve already given up on us. I just need you to leave, because loving you is not something I am capable of right now.” Her eyes widened. “Don’t come here again.” A shocked sound left her, and she wiped angrily at her tears. He turned away, not able to look into her face any longer, but also wanting to make his point clear. Shit, he needed something hard to drink and something potent to take, because his pain was coming back with a vengeance. What he really wanted to do was pull her into his arms and let all of his anguish out in the form of salty wetness. He heard her cry harder, and that clenched at his damn heart, but she didn’t say anything in response. The sound of her soft footsteps retreating had him squeezing his eyes shut and clenching his hands. The front door opening pierced the fog of agony in his brain, and for several seconds he knew she was just standing there, contemplating what she should do, but finally the sound of the door closing allowed him to wallow in his own misery.
    Mack took out the small baggie in his front packet and held it up. The white powder that was enclosed within the small square, transparent pack called to him, promised him the power to forget his past, his present, and his fucking future. It also was like a siren’s call to the ecstasy of falling off a cliff and never having to worry again. Before his parents died he had never touched drugs, had never even contemplated using them, but now all he could think about was letting himself fall into a chemically induced coma. After he grabbed a plate from the kitchen, a razorblade from the utility drawer, and moved back into the living room, he cut a nice long white line of cocaine along the glass. He stared at it for several long minutes, knowing that this would be the beginning of the end, but needing his pain to go. He felt dirty as he rolled a one dollar bill into a tight cylinder, but all of that faded into numbing euphoria when he lowered his upper body toward the coke, closed off one of his nostrils with his finger, and inhaled the thin white line deeply through his other nostril. The cocaine caused a pleasurable burn in his nose, traveled down the back of his throat, and seeped into his bloodstream.
    Yeah, this was the beginning of the end.

Chapter Two
     
    Ten years later
     
    Jane sat at the stoplight light at the busiest intersection in Absinthe. She was finally moving back to her hometown, and although she had visited her parents a few times