In an Instant Read Online Free

and I couldn’t bear a life without him, Mel, or Marcus in it, and I could lose all of them if my true feelings were ever revealed.
    He gives another quick, deep laugh mixed with a sigh, but he doesn’t say anything else.
    The Advil is working, but not fast enough. The low pounding in my brain surfaces, and I know a full-fledged hangover is on its way. I close my eyes to try to convince myself I’m fine both physically and mentally when I know neither of those are true.
    I hear Jake’s soft, steady breathing. It’s so gentle, just like him. There is nothing about him that looks like a kid, but I know deep down he is still that nine-year-old boy I fell in love with long ago, with a heart so big it could fill the entire world. Deep down, I know I fell in love with him that night in fourth grade and then again the night tears were streaming down his cheeks in seventh when he fully opened up to me about all of his deepest fears. No one else knows that incredibly vulnerable side of him. He only lets me in that deep and always has. I’m grateful for that yet hate that it’s Mel he gives his heart to publicly.
    I close my eyes with that thought, content and complete because Jake is next to me.

 
     
     
    Chapter Three
    Present
     
    “Shit, D, you’re bleeding,” Mel says.
    I didn’t feel it before, but with her words, I feel wetness trickle down my forehead. My eyes automatically go to the celling of the car below us where there is a puddle of blood pooling right under me.
    I look back at Mel, needing to stay calm for her sake. “It seems like I am.” I give her a smile and suppress the fear beginning to bubble up.
    Mel doesn’t look good.
    “Mel, are you okay?” I think I ask it, but I’m not sure.
    I start to feel light-headed, like my head is floating but also in a blender. Everything is getting mixed around. Then a peaceful feeling washes over me, and I let myself fall into an abyss of darkness.
    I hear screams—Hanna and Em’s. Then I hear Cam’s voice shouting at them to stop.
    “We need to find Jake,” he barks as an order.
    I wish he didn’t say that, because Mel will hear. I hate that I heard, but I already know.
    Then there is just peaceful darkness again. It’s not scary. I know I’m safe here. This is where I need to be, so I decide to stay. However, voices keep pulling me back to the surface. Now they are voices I don’t recognize.
    “He’s going into V-fib,” I hear someone shout. “Charge the paddles.”
    It’s eerily quiet, which I take as a good sign as I embrace the dark warmth that is covering me like a blanket.
    Suddenly, I’m standing outside of the car. I see Cam, Dax, and Nate huddled over Jake as paramedics work on him. There are flashing lights illuminating the black sky. The lights continue to spin, unaware of the drama happening right below them. The paramedics are frantic, and the girls are hysterical. Marcus and Mel aren’t here, and I don’t think I really am, either.
    There is a horrible crunching metal sound, so I turn toward it. They are cutting up Cam’s car. They must be trying to get us out. I know with every fiber of my being I’m still in that car, yet somehow, I am out here, seeing everything. I don’t question it, though. I know I’m supposed to be here, supposed to see this.
    Why can’t I see Marcus? I can see everything but him. The look on Cam’s face when he saw Marc and called for Jake in the backseat is seared into my memory, but I can’t absorb what any of it means. I am surrounded by chaos, yet I’m calm. I am not sure how, but I am. It’s as if I’m watching a movie, and none of this is really happening to me. This isn’t real. It can’t be.
    I turn back and lock my eyes on Jake. I can’t pull them away now even if I tried.
    There is a large tube jammed down his throat, connected to a big bulb-like thing that one of the paramedics is squeezing while the other one is pounding on his chest.
    “Come on, Jake!” the one breathing for him