Living Bipolar Read Online Free

should be explained that John has been my best friend since I was a child of the age of three or four. We went to school together from kindergarten until the sixth grade, and we lived in the same neighborhood. We always spent the summers together as kids. (Later in the chapter A Friend’s Perspective John gives his own experience of being friends with someone who is Bipolar).
    While I was in jail my mom told me my uncle, a neurosurgeon, thought that I was Bipolar, and this explained why I was acting the way I was. While my uncle is not a psychiatrist, he suggested that I be evaluated by a professional. I felt relieved at the notion that I was Bipolar, and that I could get better with medicine, but later I loathed this diagnosis. I did not want to be labeled Bipolar, because I did not want to be crazy.
    THE ROAD TO RECOVERY
    After jail I went to a dual diagnosis treatment center in South Florida to begin the recovery process. I felt amazing when I arrived in Florida, and every morning I woke up early and ran. My grandiosity told me I was going to show the other people in treatment how great I was, and I was going to lead them in the recovery process.
    However, after being on top of the world for the first week in treatment, I crashed into a depression. I remember crying the majority of the time and all I wanted to do was sleep. I had no comprehension of the verbiage the others in treatment were using. Not only did I not want to accept that I was an alcoholic and a drug addict…I did not want to accept I was Bipolar! The idea of being labeled crazy and having to take medications for the rest of my life was overwhelming for me.
    TIPS ON COPING WITH THE BIPOLAR DIAGNOSIS
    C oming to terms with having the (bipolar) disorder may mean admitting to a new role for yourself in your family, in the workforce, or in your personal relationships. It may require you to make some decisions about restructuring your life and priorities, which may mean viewing yourself differently…
    WHAT IS THE BEST WAY FOR ME TO THINK ABOUT THE ILLNESS?
    1.Bipolar disorder is not a life sentence.
    2.Many creative, productive people have lived with this illness.
    3.Try to maintain a healthy sense of who you are and think about how your personality strengths can be drawn on in dealing with the illness.
    4.The way you feel right now is not necessarily the way you will feel in three months, six months or a year.
    5.There are things you can do in addition to taking medications to control the cycling or you mood states.
    -Miklowitz 2002: 54, 67-68
    I didn't know how to live without using drugs and alcohol, and the idea of living without using substances was a concept I would not subscribe to. Just being in treatment was hard to do. The medications prescribed to me only seemed to make me tired and I thrived off energy. I believed the medications took away who I was as a person and that made me depressed.
    It is very important to understand that the Bipolar illness could not have been treated until I was sober from drugs and alcohol. Medications for the Bipolar illness cannot work if you are using substances. Once, however, I got sober the Bipolar illness could be treated, and I could take action in recovery for the Bipolar illness.
    Eventually things got easier. After I left treatment I remained sober, and I got a job where I was successful. After a year at the job I moved my way into management, and my life was going well.
    After being sober for two years my life and mood became unstable and I couldn't handle anything with myself or with other people. I had thoughts of suicide every day, and I was paranoid beyond belief. I constantly had visions in my mind of everything in my life falling apart. It felt like my world was coming to an end. To give you some examples of the paranoia I experienced, every time I went to get money out of the ATM I honestly was scared that all the money in my checking account was going to be gone. Also, I was fearful that I was going to