Not Another Soldier Read Online Free Page B

feel sorry for
me? I made it back alive. It’s the guys that died and their families who
deserve the compassion.
    I smirk at my reflection. Besides, who wants to be the
one guy who complains about his injury? I know Marines who have had their legs
blown off and still manage to climb a fucking mountain. What do I do? Push
papers. Most of the time, I’m grateful to still be a part of the military.
Maybe I’m institutionalized, because the idea of being on the outside, in
civilian life, doesn’t exactly fill me with joy.
    But days like today—when I’m wired and edgy—are when
I’d like to be out there, on patrol, eating damned sand, hunting down the
enemy. The need to fight will pass eventually. Weirdly, it only seems to go
when I’m with Sienna.
    Taking a drink of water, I stroll over to the benches
and snatch my gym bag, chucking the bottle in it and reaching for my phone. I
read her message again, my heart jumping in my chest. She’s played it cool
since our kiss, and I’ve barely kept mine. The memory of those soft lips, warm
tongue and hot perky breasts pressed against me has kept me up every night
since.
    Sienna. I swear almost just saying her name in my mind
makes me hard. And that was before I kissed her. I should never have been
thinking of Rob’s wife that way and I always did my best to remain a gentleman,
but he never treated her right. He cheated on her, ignored her, spoke to her
like shit and, the sweet thing that she is, she just took it. I almost want to
punish myself with another workout when I think about how much I let him get
away with. You find yourself torn when it’s a fellow Marine, especially when
it’s one you grew up with.
    I head for the showers and let the stinging cold water
beat over me, maybe thinking of it as penance for not acting sooner. Rob and I
had been friends since we were seven. We played at being soldiers. It’s all we
ever talked of. But Rob changed and grew into someone I didn’t recognize. It
was probably only after my accident that I realized just how bad it had gotten.
Then spending time with Sienna sealed it for me. Rob didn’t deserve her and I needed
her. But how could I turn on a brother? How could I break up a marriage and
take Rob’s place? I was still half a fucking man with my mangled leg and if I
was the one who broke things, how would I know Sienna really wanted me? I
needed her to make the decision. The day she told me she was leaving him was
the best day of my life. And then Rob got himself killed.
    Grimacing as I step out onto the dirty changing room
floor, I towel off and change into jeans and a clean T-shirt. I spray on a
little cologne and grab my gym bag before heading straight to my car.
    Today is the start of me putting things right. His
death has made things easier in some ways. No messy divorce for her to deal
with but a whole host of demons instead. I’m not sure Sienna ever realized
quite how screwed up Rob was. Too busy looking for the best in him—or at least
hoping for it. As I climb in my Jeep and chuck the bag on the back seat, I
admit to myself that it’s one of the things I love about her. She was one of
the few who still saw me as a man and not a cripple or a damned hero after the
accident. She still saw Nick.
    It takes me longer than I’d like to navigate the city
traffic. The thought of her so far away from me makes my skin itch. I park up
in front of her apartment building and climb out, palms slightly sticky.
    Damn, I think I’d rather be back out in Afghanistan,
facing the Taliban, than doing this. What a coward. But I need to see Sienna
again. It’s been three weeks and it feels like a lifetime. I could kick myself
for what I did but I can’t regret it. I mean kissing her just after she’d
buried her husband was not my smartest idea, but, shit, it was an amazing kiss.
    Now I’m just dreading her reaction to me. I texted her
a few times to check up on her, but her responses usually came slowly and were
brief. I stare up