Postcards to America Read Online Free

most memorable incidents of his teen years occurred when he accidentally spilled a contaminant into the only supply of drinking water for the area. No person in the locality got any sleep for two days. Things got so bad that the number of people wanting to use the toilets exceeded the number of toilets. Because of the shortage of toilets, people would go out to make their number 2 behind bushes and hedgerows where they would meet their neighbours. People who avoided their neighbours and choose not to converse for years suddenly found that they possessed something in common - an urgent urge to S**T.
    Because of the contamination the nearest downwind municipality declared an emergency and would have debunked to underground shelters for safety. Only one small item stopped them. The Municipal Manager – who possessed the only set of keys, happened to be away on a junket in Barbados. The theme of the conference: “Housing standards in a subarctic environment”. The manager – though booked to speak at the conference - actually spent his time sailing the ocean with an all woman crew. He would catch up on the conference notes on the plane home. None of the managers – who came from all over Europe – actually attended the conference.
    By the time the manager returned the crisis showed signs of easing. A period of prolonged rain several days later dampened the smell and prevented the outbreak of a disease with a long Latin name.
    Local shopkeepers and chemists who made a large profit by trebling the price of toilet paper and anti-dysentery tablets, flew off on sunshine holidays on the backs of the profits that they made.
    The local Hospital Board petitioned the minister for funding to open a Tropical Disease Department and received a promise from Patrick Molloy Snr. that he would do everything in his power to bring their request before government at the first opportunity.
    Trouble also followed young Patrick onto the sporting field. While jumping to head a ball, his extended fingers nearly poked out an opponent’s eye. And in another incident, a sliding tackle did manage to break a goalkeeper’s leg.
    Later a whole new universe of potential trouble opened for Patrick. With his testicles moving South and his penis heading North, he discovers girls. And girls were responsible for his first expulsion from a school.
    As a dare from his classmates Patrick removed his clothing and ran around the sports field. The fact that his antics were watched by a large group of giggling and screaming young females probably led to the severity of the punishment. Lowering the moral tone of the school intoned the headmaster as he viewed a picture of Patrick’s butt on a mobile picture phone. Even Patrick Molloy Snr., with all his influence and promise of funding for a badly needed new school roof, could not make him reverse his decision.
    During this time young Patrick learned more about politics and the machinations his father took part in. Politicians would call to his house and he would overhear them talking about plots to exclude this person or promote that individual or “pull this or that stroke”. Gradually young Patrick formed a firm opinion that he would never follow his father into politics: a slightly hypocritical stance this because he still used his father to get him out of trouble when the need arose. Young Patrick also noticed that his father excluded his mother from his political circle and left her to look after him, the house, and to participate in the odd woman’s organisation.
    Patrick’s new school happened to be co-ed and Patrick quickly settled in and became popular especially when they found out the reasons for his expulsion from his previous school. Before he enrolled at his new school his father took him aside and warned him about staying out of trouble. Patrick gave an undertaking that he would do his best.
    Patrick reckoned without the girls.
    Each day Patrick exercised in the gym. For an hour or so, he punished