Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child Read Online Free Page A

social scientists have proven that children are drawn into antisocial, delinquent behavior as a result of problems in their family environment—problems like marital conflict, divorce, the physical or emotional absence of a father, domestic violence, poor parenting, neglect, abuse, and poverty. The solutions, then, should be to build better marriages and see that parents have the economic and social support they need to take good care of their children. The problem is, our society appears to be headed in the opposite direction.
    In 1950, only 4 percent of new mothers were unmarried; today some 30 percent are . While most of today’s unmarried mothers eventually wed, a high divorce rate—now more than half of all new marriages —keeps the number of mother-only households high.Right now, it’s around 28 percent , with about half of these families living in poverty .
    Many children from divorced families lack the financial or emotional support they need from fathers. Figures from the 1989 U.S. Census show that just over half the mothers entitled to child support receive the full amount; a quarter received partial payment, and a fifth received nothing at all. One study of children from disrupted families found that two years after a divorce, a majority of children had not seen their fathers for a year.
    Remarriage, if it happens, brings its own problems. Divorce is more common in second marriages than in first marriages. And while studies show that stepfathers often bring a more reliable income, the relationship often brings more stress, confusion, and sadness into a child’s life. Child abuse occurs more frequently in stepfamilies than in natural families. According to one Canadian study , preschool children in stepfamilies are forty times more likely than those who live with biological parents to suffer physical and sexual abuse.
    Children in emotional pain don’t leave their problems at the schoolhouse door. As a result, schools nationwide have reported dramatic increases in behavior problems over the past decade. Our public schools—many already drained from antitax initiatives—are being called upon to provide an increasing number of social services for children whose emotional needs are not met at home. In essence, schools are becoming emotional buffering zones for the growing number of children hurt by divorce, poverty, and neglect. Consequently, there are fewer resources available to fund basic education, a trend that’s reflected in declining academic scores.
    In addition, families of all kinds are stressed by changes that have occurred in the workforce and the economy over the past few decades. Effective income has been eroded over the past two decades, which means that many families need double paychecks to stay afloat. More women have entered the paid workforce. And for many couples, the power shift that happens as the male partner loses his role as the sole breadwinner brings added stresses. At the same time, employers are demanding more of workers’ time. According to Harvard economics professor Juliet Schor, the typical American family now works one thousand more hours each yearthan it did twenty-five years ago. One survey showed that Americans have a third less free time than they did in the 1970s. As a result, people say they are spending less time on basics like sleeping, eating, and playing with their kids. Between 1960 and 1986, the time parents had available to spend with their children fell by more than ten hours a week. Short on time, Americans are participating less in community and religious activities that uphold the family structure. And as our society becomes more mobile, moving from city to city for economic reasons, an increasing number of families live without the support of nearby family and lifelong friends.
    The net effect of all these social changes is that our children face increased risks to their health and well-being. Meanwhile, the support systems that aid families in protecting