Red Hot Liar (9781617738654) Read Online Free

like oil, right into our pockets.”
    â€œ Me ?” Viceroy laughed and shook his head. “Fool, do I need to pull down my pants so you can see what shade of black my ass is? Nah, I ain’t the one. You need a white boy for that.”
    â€œNonsense!” Bob protested smoothly. “You’ve spent your entire life preparing for a role like this. You’ve chaired the Regional Power Committee and served on the Gas Committee too. Not to mention that you were nearly killed in an oil rig accident. You survived and spent months in a coma and endured endless rehab and you still bounced back on your feet! You’re exactly the man we’re looking for, Viceroy. Hell, if you ask me the state of Texas owes you one. The election’s going to be tough, but the campaign will be very short. You’ve got a tear-jerking survival story that’s perfect for these bleeding heart liberals, and we need their votes too! Besides, you’re the head of the richest black family in Texas. That alone makes for a great public interest story and could help win over the hearts and minds of the specialty voting block.”
    Viceroy stopped slurping from his bottle and stared at the old man like he was smoking weed.
    â€œDo you know how much crazy shit my family is going through right now, Bob? Didn’t you just see me trash my whole damn office? My wife is a fuckin’ floozy! My son’s banging the shit out of his own cousin, my youngest daughter can’t decide if she likes nuts or cooch, I got a crazy New Yorker trying to shoot a reality show in my living room, and a big-dicked cross-dresser named Peaches is flouncing around my house in a little pink skirt!” Viceroy shook his head and swiped his hand down his face. “And if all that don’t fuck you up, Okrah Sinfree and her crew are gonna be at my house filming an interview this afternoon.”
    Bob counted off on his fingers. “Yes to Okrah, no to the reality show, and hell no to the queer guy. In fact, get rid of him right away!” he snapped distastefully. “It sounds like you’ve got a lot of cleaning up to do at home, but I believe it can be done. Truly, this is the perfect opportunity for a man like you, Viceroy. It’s your time. This position is powerful and prestigious and you deserve to hold it. Who knows? It might lead to a federal appointment one day.”
    Viceroy still couldn’t see it. “Man, Bob, I just tore up my whole fuckin’ office! I smacked the shit out of an intern and scared the hell outta good ol’ Ginny. A couple of leaked emails about that and I can kiss a whole lot of lily white votes good-bye.”
    â€œNonsense!” Bob waved him off. “Remember, you’ve had a very severe head injury. Everyone expects these type of weird things to happen with you every now and then. Ginny’s fine, so don’t worry about her, and I’ll make sure the intern gets a great job offer and a nice bonus too. All you have to do is agree to do it. Just get your household in order and say you’ll run.”
    â€œLet me get a few days to think about it.”
    â€œWe don’t have a few days! The election is in three weeks. The deadline to submit your filing documents is in less than seventy-two hours.”
    â€œSeventy-two hours?”
    â€œThat’s right. We need a quick decision here. If you say yes, I can have the necessary forms filed immediately.”
    Viceroy took a deep breath as his mind flitted over the possibilities. The only way he could truly fuck a big-time oil man like Rodney Ruddman up the ass was from a position of power. Political power. If he was the head of the state regulatory board not only would he have the power to give those in the oil business damn near everything they wanted, he’d have the power to take it all away too.
    â€œOkay.” He reached out to shake Bob’s hand as he got ready to go home and clean house. “Bet.